[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
Hit it. ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[brassy detective music]
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
[melancholy music]
[bombastic music]
Steady, men.
Steady.
On my mark...
- go. - [laughs excitedly]
[lively music]
[music continues]
- And time. - [coughing]
Well done, boys.
A new record.
Which means...
Say it, say it, say it...
Sno-cones!
Oh, yes.
[brassy detective music]
[music continues]
Hey, guys. What's doing?
We're going for yummy sno-cones.
- Wanna come? - Oh, yes.
Sno-cones? Sno-cones are the best.
And real quick, a sno-cone is...
70.2% shaved ice, 15.6% flavored syrup,
14.2% paper, of which 8.7% is recycled.
Um, okay. Sounds good.
- Let's go. - Excellante.
Our intel has pinpointed a stand just west of the museum.
Museum? Since when is there a museum in the zoo?
Since--and this is only an estimate, of course--
um, never.
The sno-cone stand's in the park, Marlene.
The park? I mean--
you mean--you mean the park-park?
Outside the zoo walls?
That's the one. Can't miss it.
We--oh, I just remembered.
I got to clean my habitat
and, um, you know,
a whole lot of other stuff-- ton of stuff.
So I'm way too busy to go over the wall
for sno-cones.
Kowalski, baloney detector reading.
Pop!
[buzzing]
Skipper, I'm detecting dangerous levels of baloney.
Marlene, do I need to call you a phony baloney?
[laughing] Okay, you guys are cute.
Listen, the truth is, I'm--
I'm just, well, a little scared.
[snorts] Of sno-cones?
No. The outside.
I was born in...
captivity; there, I said it, okay?
I've never, ever set foot outside.
Marlene, there's no reason to fear the outside world.
Other than random street crime...
And natural disasters...
- Industrial accidents... - Badger attacks.
Are you two finished?
Falling space debris.
Uh, all finished.
The point is, Marlene, we are city savvy.
Uh-huh.
And we'll be with you the whole time.
What could go wrong?
Okay, you win. I'm in.
Hoo-hah!
I recommend the rainbow cone.
You get to try every flavor,
and it looks like a clown's head.
Fabjulous!
Ha, ha.
Well, what are we waiting for?
Let's go.
Where did he--
Get the loads out, penguins.
The snowy cones might melt.
Whoa!
Ehh.
Wow.
It's just so big and free and--
and outside.
Outside, outside, outside.
Who cares?
Where are the--
hey, where is the outside?
- Hello? - We could leave him.
Tempting, but it violates the penguin code.
Oh, yeah.
No walls...
no fences.
[laughs nervously]
Put your back into it, men.
[all grunting]
[laughs excitedly] Nothing to hold me back.
I can-- [laughs nervously]
I can go wild.
[nervous laughing]
Oh, hello. Did you miss me?
Not as much as you might think.
Um, Skipper, where's Marlene?
Anything?
- Negative. - Nothing.
Nada.
Blast.
- She's gone without a trace. - Psst!
Oh.
[growling]
Is that Marlene?
She doesn't look quite right.
It is Marlene.
[growling]
She's just... a little cranky.
- Whoa! - Hey.
[groaning]
Ay!
You've got this new vibe going on.
I like it.
It's bol-- ah, help!
I'm being king-napped!
Ah!
Somebody want to tell me what just happened?
The answer is obvious:
Marlene has fallen victim to...
the mind control satellites that circle our earth.
Protective head gear, everyone.
Gee, I think she's just gone wild.
Right. I'm declaring level-red emergency.
- Search and rescue, men. - Um, Skipper?
Does this mean we're not getting sno-cones?
Private, how could you even ask that at a time like this?
- [slurping] - So we start here,
sweep this way, and circle around.
Any questions?
Okay, Marlene.
I suppose you'll be demanding some ransoms.
Now, I am worth very much, so you must ask for top--
[sniffing]
Mmm.
Why are you eyeing my delicious flanks
and my robust rump?
Wait.
You are not going to ransom me.
You are...
going to eat me!
Oh!
Eat me if you must.
But I will give you terrible indigestion,
a gas unlike...
any ever!
- Marlene? - [purring]
Eh, that is not eating.
- Smooch - Oh, my.
No, please. You must stop.
- I am royal. - [continuous smooches]
It isn't right for a commoner such as yourself to--
[teeth clattering]
Well, maybe just a minute more.
No! Marlene!
How would I be explaining this
- to my mother? - [growling]
You're right.
Her problem, not ours.
Just maybe...
not so tight.
You, there.
Have you seen this lemur and otter?
Which one of them is the otter?
This one, obviously. Note the whiskers?
No, I thought that was a cat.
Did I say, "have you seen this lemur and cat?"
No; that's why I thought it was strange
- that you drew a cat. - It's not a cat.
Then why does it have whiskers?
You know what? Never mind the otter.
- Cat. - Whatever!
- Have you seen the lemur? - What's a lemur?
I think we're done here.
Any luck?
- No. - Negatory.
This is getting us nowhere fast.
We need a new tack.
Ah!
Ringtail.
[crying]
Ringtail. Marlene!
What are you doing?
Skipper, I'm not comfortable watching this.
Marlene is in love with me,
which makes perfect sense, really.
I am a catch.
But why does this have to happen when she is snarly and gross?
[purring]
[snarling]
[panting]
Where are you taking me?
Oh, oh, oh.
[howls]
Help me
before I am squeezed and hugged
and doodle-doed into pulpiness!
Kowalski, tell me you packed the climbing gear.
Sorry, Skipper. No room with all the trail mix.
[bag ripping]
[crunching]
How are we going to get up that tower?
Skipper?
What about those?
[motors zooming]
Good headwind today, huh?
[smacks]
Ahhhhhh!
Ah!
Oh, hey, look, I can see my throne.
Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[engines roaring]
[grunts]
Ah, ah, ah...
please, no pushing.
Uh-oh.
Two of my top four pilots.
[gasps]
Oh.
[howling]
Help!
It all comes down to me...
again.
[snarling]
Ahhhh!
Bottoms up!
Oh!
[snarling]
Uh, where did that cage come from?
Sorry, that's classified information.
Top marks, boys.
Does this mean--
You know it does.
[snarling]
- Will she ever be the same? - Possibly.
But it may take months, perhaps years,
to restore her back to her normal self.
Um, guys? Why am I in a cage?
Or... maybe we just need to bring her home.
Marlene? Are you okay?
I'm in a cage, so not okay.
You don't remember anything that happened outside the zoo?
No.
Skipper, there's a scientific term for this:
weird.
[snarling]
What's up? [snarling]
Hey, hey!
Oh, knock it off, you knuckleheads.
- [snarling] - [snickering]
Eh, now that you are much less growlily,
I accept your invitation of courtship.
Wait. What?
You don't remember being hopelessly in love with me?
Ew, ew.
You know what I say? I say you do remember,
and you are just trying to play it off.
That's what you are doing.
You are trying to play it off and to lift yourself higher.
It is not working.
Look, everybody is looking at you.
The female of the species, any species,
who is understanding them?
Excuse me. [crying]
I hear you, brother.
Um, guys? Hello?
I thought we were getting sno-cones?
Guys!
[brassy detective music]
Eyes on the prize, Kowalski.
Crack this new habitat control system,
and we'll be swimming in all the fish we can stomach.
Fiiish!
[giggles crazily]
[slobbering]
I am trying,
but this is the most advanced encryption I've ever seen.
It's got Sudoku with fractions!
Did you try the master code?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
[beeps]
[scoffs] Nothing!
- Hmm. - Run it backwards.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1?
- [beeps] - Ah!
Okay, now try starting at 3--
Fiiiiiiish!
[motor starting]
- [rings] - Wow.
We're in.
Way to hack that mainframe, Rico.
Skipper, look!
There's a scary man.
Well, boys,
looks like they finally tracked me down.
Those Danes really know how to hold a grudge.
- [violent knocking] - [whimpering]
[violent knocking continues]
Ah!
Oh, penguins!
Moon Cat!
It's... Max.
And you know, I'm not really from the moon.
Yes, but the name just works.
Yeah, that's great. Now help me.
Hide me! Save me!
[screeching]
We are in your debt from the exceptional hospitality
you showed us on our lunar mission.
Are the Danes after you too?
Huh? No, it's animal control!
They're on to me.
Do you know what those maniacs do to stray cats?
Do you?
- Uh-uh. - Me neither.
Well, you're not going to find out tonight.
Let's roll, boys!
[brassy detective music]
Well, how many enemy agents are we talking about?
Because if it's more than a baker's dozen,
we may need the jumbo brass knuckles...
and knuckles.
- [explosions] - Ah!
We're doomed, we're doomed.
[crying] We're doomed, we're doomed.
Steady.
So doomed.
Time to put out the cat.
- [whirring] - [screeching]
Aw, jeez.
[clearing throat] I hairballed myself.
Just one human?
That's not combat. That's a playdate.
Rico!
Hyah!
[stammering]
Penguins...
nature's rule breakers.
Birds are supposed to fly; but no, you gotta swim instead.
You think you're above the laws of nature, punks?
Huh? Do you?
[singsong] Rancho Cucamonga.
Private, Kowalski, on me. Hyah!
[shooting]
Gugh! Mama make a butter biscuit,
gravy, gravy, bongos.
You're pound cake, kitty.
[stuttering] Meow.
Kowalski, options.
- Strategic retreat, skipper? - Explain.
It's like running away but manlier.
Execute.
[whining]
Interfering with animal control business--
just like a penguin. Ugh!
Once you hit the sewers, find an alligator named Roger
and give him this secret code phrase:
"Help me. Oh, please, please, help me.
"For the sweet love of Mother Mercy,
"please help me escape the Animal Control Officer
who's chasing me."
He'll know what it means.
You birds are the best.
Stay solid, Compadre.
Well done, men. Mission accompl--
[meowing]
What in the name of candied yams?
Booby traps... everywhere!
Sweet science of boxing.
He's sealed off the tight perimeter.
The man knows his technique.
[hacks]
We gotta run!
Escape is no longer an option, my feline friend.
We'll have to hide you in the zoo
until Johnny Law cools his heels.
Anything you say.
My nine lives are in your hands.
Hoo, boy.
There's-- [gasps]
Not much, uh, fresh air in here, huh?
[muffled wheeze]
Try to conserve oxygen by shutting down
any unnecessary brain functions.
Rico, show him how it's done.
Just keep it down, and everything will be okay.
[laughs]
Midnight bounce party.
Oh.
Ain't no bouncy like the midnight bouncy,
'cause the midnight bouncy don't--
[screeching]
Uh.
Hey, the royal bouncy is very screaming tonight.
I must bounce with extra violence
- to release the trapped spirits. - [screeching]
[gasping for air]
Maurice, bring the spirit plunger.
We've got a clogger.
Mmm.
But why are we doing this again?
We're leaving your scent in this habitat as bait.
Mr. Animal Control comes in,
Joey, the foul-tempered kangaroo, takes him out.
Okay.
[sniffing]
Pure kitty. No buts about it.
[repressing laugh]
Mm, I fell too far behind.
They must've shaken my tail, taken the rear exit,
cut around the back side.
[stifled giggle]
This ends here.
[stifled laugh]
What's wrong with Private?
I haven't seen him like this
since our mission to Butztown, PA.
[laughing]
Oi!
You, ratbag!
Joey don't like trespassers in his bizzo, mate.
You're not hearing me?
Joey's gonna have to teach you to listen, eh?
[western movie music]
You think he'd teach me that move?
[sniffing]
- Mm. - [screeching]
Update me, Chimp.
Ugh, he simply isn't human.
No man can take that much poo without dropping.
What are we gonna do?
I ain't never been in a pound before.
Maybe it's not so bad.
You never know until you visit.
I'm out of ideas, Skipper.
He's tracked us through every hiding place in the zoo.
Ah.
Phil asks if you've tried
the red Rhodesian Slasher exhibit.
There's no red Rhodesian Slasher on the charts.
Felinas infernis,
an ultra-rare, incredibly vicious wildcat.
The habitat is ready,
but the beast itself has yet to arrive.
It could be an ideal hiding spot.
Red wildcat, eh?
May be more right than you know, primates.
- Skipper? - Sometimes the best place
to hide is in plain sight.
All right, moon cat.
Now let's see how good your "vicious" is.
[strangled snarling]
Mmm...
[sniffing]
Growl. Snarl.
I'm hissing here.
Oh, trail's gone cold.
Yes!
♪ Hey, pokey, you choke-ied ♪
♪ You really failed your duty ♪
♪ You're never gonna touch my little kitty kabooty ♪
Uh-oh.
He's blown his own cover.
Hello, kitty.
Why didn't anybody tell me you'd arrived?
Step back, ma'am.
Officer X, Animal Control.
Let's see how this plays out.
X?
Is that the name your mommy gave you?
Mother never told me my real name.
Said it was classified.
Now turn over the stray cat, or face the full powers
of the metropolitan sub-bureau of Animal Control
and pretzel cart regulation.
Stray cat? Ha!
This is the male Rhodesian Slasher
we've been waiting weeks for.
- But-- - Oh, my.
That female Slasher's going to be happy to see you.
They get so cranky when they're lonely.
I'm gonna--what?
Female? Cranky?
Still playing out.
That feline is a known fugitive and a menace to--
In you go to the kitty love nest.
[loud growling]
Oh, boy.
[sighs] Isn't nature magical?
You know what, ma'am? It is.
I think I'll just sit here and wait
in case nature decides to make a break for it.
Whatever floats your boat, weirdo.
Please, please-- [scuffling]
Oh!
Okay, well, this may have played out a little too much.
Meow!
You gotta get me outta here.
This kitten's nuts.
Apparently the Rhodesian Slasher has a painfully intense,
very elaborate courtship ritual.
But the good news is,
most fatalities don't occur until the fifth week.
I can't take five weeks of this!
What am I gonna do?
Time for a kitty jailbreak.
Private, execute a foamy lips subterfuge... mark seven.
Arf, arf.
[snarling]
I am the rabies.
[laughing]
Oh-ho, rabid Chihuahua,
the greatest Animal Control threat known to man.
[yelling]
Arf, arf.
Mmm.
I like diseases.
What the--
And here we go.
This is for all the marbles, boys.
- Gotcha. - [screaming]
Myfelinas infernis, they've escaped!
- They? - [coughing]
Take good care of my lady,
'kay, big guy?
Good-bye now.
- Paint? - [snarls]
Oh, poo.
[laughter and cheering]
Nice stripe work, Rico.
You got the brushstroke of a Renaissance master.
[giggling]
I can't thank you birds enough.
Consider it a debt repaid, old friend.
Enjoy your freedom.
Sure thing.
But, uh, isn't the whole outside wall still wired
with sergeant psycho's booby traps?
We've got a man on it.
I'm expendable!
Yay!
[brassy detective music]