[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
Hit it. ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
All right, boys.
Coast is clear. Let's move.
[sneaky spy music]
Hey, guys.
Jumbo shrimp.
Doesn't a stealthy rendezvous mean anything to anyone anymore?
A stealth-- no.
Why? Should it?
Shh.
All clear.
But stay on your toes.
Right.
Well, anyhoo, guess what I found in my habitat today.
It's-- it's--
An egg?
Yes.
And you are birds, so...
So?
What?
Back at the aquarium,
the daddy penguins handled egg duty.
Marlene, we are an elite force,
not nursemaids.
Actually, Skipper, incubation is a guy thing for penguins.
It's natural instinct.
You too, Kowalski?
We can't give in to every gushy urge
nature's burdened upon our species.
- Ooh-ooh. - Coochie coochie coo.
Oh, come on, you marshmallows.
Think manly thoughts
like monster trucks.
Woo-ah.
[cooing sounds]
Ah, isn't that just the...
[shudders] No can do.
We can't possibly take this mommy mission.
Of course you can't, silly penguin.
Because the egg is mine.
Where did you--
I thought we had this area secure?
You laid an egg?
That's highly illogical for a mammal unless...
are you part platypus?
What did--
You are a party puss, but I--
I am king of things.
Longly I have waited for the spirits to give me
a proper heir to my thrown.
Clearly that is why they sent me this egg.
Sentyou?
Yes. Indirectly.
I shall call him Julien Jr.
J.J.
I will raise him to be just like me.
Handsome, brilliant, and most of all,
humble.
- We'll take him. - Yay!
Resume coochie-cooing, men.
[cooing sounds]
Well, we will see who's coochie-cooing when I--
Hey, I was muttering to me,
not you silly penguins.
Now carry on.
We'll take shifts.
The egg will have round the clock supervision
and training.
- Training, Skipper? - That's right, Private.
By the time this rookie hatches,
he'll be ready for action.
- But, sir? - The clock is ticking.
Commence operation
Hard Boil.
Oh, lovely.
You're playing a game with Eggy.
Ha ha. Whoa.
This is no game, Private.
This tiny obstacle course trains tiny soldiers.
Go.
Huh!
You'll get your little play time
when it's your shift, Private.
Ah! Oh, dear.
- [sighs] - Not bad.
But you'll never make officer with a time like that.
Let's get in it to win it.
- Go. - [gasps]
Mm-hm.
Oh, you've built a crib for Eggy.
No, it's an intelligence intensifying
incubation chamber.
From egg to egghead in one giga-jolt.
You can't--
[jolts zap]
Private?
The sum of the square roots of any two sides
of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root
of the remaining side.
Oh. What just happened?
Please tell me you're just flying a kite.
Huh?
Rico, where's Eggy?
[grunts]
Eggy can't fly. Bring him down. Bring him down.
[moans]
You lost Eggy.
Mm. Mmm-mm.
[retches]
[whimpers]
Look at them with the vomiting of my J.J.
That is no way for a royal lemur egg to be treated.
He should be at my side.
My left side, right about here.
♪ Me and my J.J. ♪
♪ With me he will stay-ay ♪
♪ And then we can play-ay ♪
♪ All night and all day-ay ♪
♪ From this lemur egg my lemur prince will rise ♪
♪ Its little femur leg growing to king size ♪
♪ He'll be regally ♪
♪ He'll be legally mine ♪
Oh, look at how cute he is.
♪ Me and my J.J. ♪
♪ With me he will stay-ay ♪
♪ And then we can play-ay ♪
♪ From June until May-ay ♪
♪ He'll be regally ♪
♪ I said legally mine ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Why, yes, J.J. Of course you can kick Mort.
Your highness?
No, no. He likes it.
Your highness!
Maurice!
You totally ruined my J.J. daydream.
It had music and everything.
Ah, you know, maybe you should let go.
I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure whatever's in that egg,
it ain't one of us.
Oh, really, Mr. Smarty booty?
And where do you think J.J. will hatch from
if not from an egg?
Well, mammals usually come from...
[whispers]
[spits]
Do not gross me out with nonsense, Maurice.
I think I am getting an idea.
Yes!
It is definitely an idea, and I have it.
Me! Ha ha ha!
You're in safe hands now, Eggy.
Well, safe feet.
Private.
What are you doing with the egg?
It's not your shift.
[growls]
Obstacle courses, giga-jolts,
hang gliding.
You're all pushing too hard!
You--
You don't know everything, Skipper.
Private.
[gulp]
I'm sorry, Skipper. It's just that I--
Think you know what's best for this new cadet?
But you're just a boy yourself, a dreamer.
What could you possibly know about raising it?
[ding]
I'll show you. It's my shift.
Everything's okay now.
I'll never let anything bad happen to you.
[shell opens]
Oh!
Ooh!
Skipper! Skipper!
I felt him kick, and then he smiled at me.
What?
I'm an egg!
Arf arf!
Oh, yes. Who is your daddy now?
Not me because I am J.J.'s daddy
and-- Oh!
Ah!
My baby!
Fooled me once, J.J.
Ow! My eyes!
Wait, was that just--
No.
[duck quacking]
A duck?
Quack!
A mother duck.
Oh, keep looking, kids.
Excuse me, are you missing--
My egg. Do you have my egg?
Um, kind of.
Well, no. No.
But I sent it to the best eggy sitters.
Come on.
Eggy's gone, and it's all my fault.
I am a bad daddy.
No moping on duty, Private.
This is not over.
Target spotted, sir.
Let me see.
What are you waiting for?
[gasping]
A moment of silence
to honor our fallen.
Just think of monster trucking.
Yoo-hoo.
Here, J.J.
Come here, boy.
Eggy!
He's alive!
Ah!
Quickly, men.
Operation Stop Pop.
Go! Go! Go!
[retches]
My J.J.!
You're safe now.
And you have little feet. Oh, yes, you do.
Yeah, I demand custody.
Look at all the danger you have heaved upon my J.J.
We heaved?
You're the heaver, mister.
Eggy was aces until you pilfered him.
But I pilferedJ.J. while he was on your watching.
That makes you responsible for my irresponsibility.
I'll slap you into the middle of next week.
How dare you, sir.
Quiet!
Both of you.
You're upsetting Eggy.
[shell opens]
Mama?
Oh, he thinks I'm his--
Mama's here!
See, I told you they were natural born hatchers.
Were you good for the sitters?
The baby didn't give you boys trouble, did he?
Well, now that you mention it.
Ooh!
Happy to serve, ma'am.
[sniffles]
Oh, that's precious.
But time to get in line, kiddo.
Monster trucks, men. Monster trucks.
Whoa, wait.
Does she get to keep all the J.J.s?
Night, boys.
You did good today, Private.
It's just instinct, Skipper.
Aw.
Skipper, do you think Eggy will remember us?
Cute and cuddly, boys.
Cute and cuddly.
[bell tolls]
Ready, Maurice?
Wait for it.
Almost there.
Now!
[techno music]
Yes!
Now begins the greatest boogie-oogie-oogie-thon ever.
Dance, my lemurs, dance! Ha ha!
I like dancing.
I don't like dancing.
Oh, my feet are killing me.
Not as much as I will if you stop dancing.
But, your majesty,
we just can't boogie-oogie-oogie like you.
[whines] I want to go to bed.
No.
Last week, the baboons shook their shiny red bottoms
18 hours straight.
I will not be out-partied.
[growls]
Roll out, team.
It's time to terminate that tune.
Team?
[snoring]
On your feet, Private.
Oh, if that isn't the cutest thing.
Looks like I'm flying solo.
[retches]
[sighs]
You call that a booty shake?
You must take the music inside of you.
Swish it around.
And spit it out through your tail.
Try it with me.
Take in the music.
[music stops]
Hey, not all the music, you greedies.
It wasn't us.
But what else could make a boomy box stop booming?
Ah!
A thief!
- Heh. - Keep dancing.
But there's no music.
I'll pretend I did not hear that.
Hey! Come back here, you music hater!
I don't hate music.
I hate noise.
Excuse me.
[sinister rattling]
Ha ha! Lost him.
Yoop.
Ha ha!
Yah!
[slurping]
Mort, what are you doing?
I'm dancing.
Give it a rest.
Julien has no way of knowing if we're dancing or not.
Oh, la la.
He knows! He knows!
I like dancing to exhaustion.
Be giving it up, flightless bird.
I already have three batteries.
But your noisemaker needs all four.
And the only way you're getting this one
is if you pry it from my cold dead flippers.
Ew, sounds gross
but doable!
Oh, no.
Ha ha! I win!
Into your face, penguin!
Sh-sh-sh.
Don't make a sound.
We're in Joey's pen.
Who's Joey?
[growling]
That's Joey.
[thunderous footsteps]
A kangaroo?
How cute.
For a moment there, I thought it would be something da--
Ooh!
Now look, marsupial.
We don't want any trouble.
We just came to get--
Joey don't rightly appreciate trespassers, mates.
Makes me mad.
Ah!
Come down, you bludgers,
before I chuck a wobbly.
Have you never heard such a mangling of the language
which we are speaking?
Anyhoo, fear not.
I have loyal subjects who live to sacrifice their skins for me.
Mort! Maurice!
I'm dancing! I'm still dancing!
[worried moans]
They are not running when I am bellowing.
I shall punish them harshly.
Okay, crazy-ish idea.
You help me
get out of this place.
Team up... with you.
I was thinking more like
you do all of the work,
and I will watch with anticipation.
Well, then forget it, compadre.
It's every animal for himself.
Ah!
[intense punching]
Okay. You win. Go team.
First we'll need a plan.
Here goes nothing.
Ally oop!
Hey, what do you know? It actually--
Ah!
Not in the face.
Please spare my moneymaker.
All systems go.
And where do you two dingoes think you're going?
Ha ha! Kangaroo.
You cannot be bouncing this high
while I can.
Easy, ringtail.
Yes, I can do all the bouncing I choose up here.
Ringtail.
Are you not seething with jealousy
as I bounce and bounce and bounce some more?
Ha ha!
Look at my bouncing magnificence!
Ah!
Hello.
Did anyone ever tell you you have beautiful eyes?
Please not to be hitting me.
No worries, mate.
[screams]
Skipper, if only one of us can make it out of here,
let it be Joey.
Wait, joey?
Oh, yeah.
Without the beatings, this place wouldn't be half bad.
Oh, we're getting out of here, ringtail,
thanks to this handsome fella
and his little dummy friend.
You have failed to capture my regal profile.
Joey only needs to buy it for a few precious moments.
You see, every morning,
that gate automatically opens for breakfast.
At precisely 0600 hours,
we use our decoys and we break.
Fast. Get my drift?
No, this is too long.
I cannot wait 600 hours.
0600 means 6:00 a.m.
Oh. When is that?
From reading the sun correctly,
I'd say...
- now. - Now?
Now! Now! Now!
Nobody pushes a king out of a tree.
Shh.
Give you two a proper harrying, I will.
Ah.
Run.
Hey, look what I--
I've been had.
[snarls]
[sighs]
Everyone who is important to me made it.
Happy ending.
But what is this feeling I am feeling?
It is not a happiness.
[punching]
Is the best you--
Ah!
It is a feeling that I have not done all I should have done.
I do not like it.
How do I make it go away?
[gasping]
Gulp!
Please do hurry, penguin.
I am not used to the physical labor.
Trying.
I cannot hold it much longer.
What more can I,
a devilishly handsome lemur king, do?
Hurry! Hurry!
What's the matter, wallaby?
Can't kick a moving target?
Wallaby?
I'm a kangaroo, mate!
Oh. I've been had again.
We did it!
Up high.
Yes, it is.
Down low.
Too slow?
You-- you are too slow.
Ah, never mind.
And so I bravely saved the annoying penguin.
But at what cost?
Without my battery,
our booties are sad and still.
Ooh, that's a crying shame, your majesty.
Oh, yeah. Shame.
Look alive, lemurs.
This is no way to party down.
True that.
Your wisdom exceeds your years, my flippered friend.
What is a party without mad beats to rock the streets?
That's why you need this.
For me?
I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry.
Consider it a tip of the beak
for saving my tail.
Now squeeze in there with your friends.
The monster beats rage on!
Boogie, my subjects. Yes!
Boogie.
[screaming]
How can you boys still be sleeping?
On your feet, team.
What's that, skipper?
Earmuffs? Well, I'll be.
Only way to catch quality sack time around here.
[snoring]
Rico. Did you forget to give skipper his?
[retches]
Thanks, boys.
Ah. Bliss.