[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
Hit it. ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[brassy detective music]
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
[swirling Sci-Fi music]
[snoring]
[alarm sounding]
All hands! Intruder alert!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Oh, hello, neighbor.
Hey, those snack provisions
are for authorized personnel only.
Do not worry. It is only I, King Julien,
who is borrowing your delicious food
for my stomach.
Yes, that is it.
"Borrowing."
Mmph.
all: Hi-yah!
And kick, punch,
and chop, mulch, duck, spin, backflip,
twirl, bob and weave, weave and bob,
plie, punch, kick, and punch.
Urk.
Mmph.
Hello, neighbor.
Fore!
Urgh.
It is okay.
I have 400 more golf balls
where that came from.
I like golf.
I like flying.
Oomph.
Harrumph.
I don't like drowning.
Oh.
Mmm.
[siren blaring]
Look out. Coming through.
What the?
Hello. You've run out of juice.
[growls]
Oh, hello, neighbor.
- What are you do-- - Shh!
But this is our home, our HQ, our inner sanctum.
You can't just--
I can't hear you.
Television too loud.
[giggling]
[growling]
Gentlemen, we need a vacation--
- vacation from that lemur. - We could visit a zoo.
They have pandas and hippos and lovely house of reptiles.
Private, you do know we live in a zoo.
But we could visit a different zoo.
Rico.
Kowalski, calculate the furthest trip possible
from our present location.
- Climate? - Unspecified.
- Elevation? - Unimportant.
Lemur population?
0.0%
I've come up with two locations
that fit our vacation parameters.
computer voice: Denmark.
I can't set foot in Denmark.
Why not, Skipper?
Well, that's private, Private,
between me and the Danes.
Very well, that leaves one location.
computer voice: The moon.
Gentlemen, we are going to the moon.
[gasping]
And no, there's no zoo on the moon.
[dramatic music]
Well, we'll never get to the moon at this rate.
Let's pick up the pace.
Men, I present to you the Penguin I.
Is it safe, Skipper?
- Kowalski? - Technically speaking, maybe.
Say goodbye to earth, boys.
But, Skipper, earth has some of my favorite things,
like cookies and oxygen--
And brown paper packages tied up with string.
Kowalski, light this candle.
T-minus 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,
ignition.
[thunderous roar]
Yo, Max, do I look a little, I don't know, chunkier to you?
I mean, I been exercising and all,
but no matter how I try,
I can't get rid of all this succulent,
delicious dark meat.
Psyche!
[laughs]
Hey, just give it up, hairball.
You've never caught a bird in your life.
Never have, never will.
[moans]
Whoa.
A shooting star.
I wish...
I wish for a bird that can't fly away.
And...
I also wish the shooting star doesn't hit me.
[screams]
Hello?
Neighbors?
I would like to borrow your toothbrushes
to scrub my hard-to-reach regions.
If you agree, say nothing at all.
I guess they agree.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
And as long as we are borrowing,
how 'bout a little television, Maurice?
You mean big television-- big and heavy.
Mmm, good point.
Let me think... okay.
My brain is saying that the king, which is me,
should not have to lift heavy things.
Hmm.
I like heavy lifting.
Welcome to the moon, boys.
Lemur population, zip,
zero, nada.
Beautiful.
Oxygen reading's
surprisingly high.
Moon cheese content:
disappointingly low.
Oh.
Private, claim this rock in the name of...
Penguins? How did penguins get up here,
when they...
can't fly.
Thank you!
Whoa!
I'm picking up a possible alien life-form.
Game on, boys.
Disperse and investigate.
Skipper?
Hello?
Aliens?
[whimpers]
Ooh, a moon rock.
Oh, it's just a baseball
that flew all the way to the moon.
Ponk!
[gasps]
Oh, hello.
Greetings, my little friend.
Excuse me...
are you a penguin?
Why, yes, I am.
A flightless bird?
That means no flapping, no flying,
no resistance.
[laughs menacingly]
[coughs]
Kudos, Private.
You've discovered an alien life-form.
A buffet!
Skipper, this alien is oddly catlike in structure.
A moon cat, eh?
Moon cat?
Greetings, moon cat.
We come in peace...
for now.
You really think that you're on the moon.
- Affirmative. - Well...
good, because you are.
Definitely. You're on the moon.
Welcome to the moon.
- [helicopter chopping] - Uh-oh!
They spotted the crash!
They want to take you away.
Who exactly is "they"?
Uh, the, uh, the evil moon warriors.
- We can take 'em. - [growls]
But that beam is their death ray.
Death ray? Bring it on!
Look, I refuse to let anything happen to you guys.
You're coming with me.
And to think, he just met us.
[grunting]
Poor Mort.
Here, let me help you.
Lift with your legs!
Your tiny, tiny legs!
You know, your majesty, I thought for sure
the penguins would have this place booby trapped.
Augh!
[bawling]
Mort, I am starting to think
you're not taking this job seriously.
Hmmm.
- Augh! - Maurice!
Hang on.
[all yelling]
Ha-ha!
[thuds]
Moon cat, I'm touched by your hospitality.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Well, it's time to eat!
And now he's making us a meal.
You, sir, are a model of kindness.
[knocking]
Oh, my. Do you hear that? They're coming.
You better use my teleportation machine to hide.
Teleportation? That's pure science fiction.
Which is exactly why I've had to disguise it
as a microwave oven.
It's top secret.
Camouflaged? Well-played.
Bonk!
Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!
Bonk! Bonk! Bonk! Bonk! Bonk!
It's a bit of a squeeze.
Maybe if you took off the helmet.
This moon cat has opened his home, his heart,
and his top secret technology to us.
- Uh-huh. - Ten four on that.
He's downright neighborly.
Hello, neighbor.
[yelling]
You know, Kowalski, maybe I need to sign on
to moon cat's good neighbor policy.
Forget the microwave!
You mean teleportation device?
Whatever.
No more fooling around.
It's time--
Moon cat is so right.
We can't fool around on the moon any longer.
It is time--
time to go home.
Wait. What?
[screams]
Thanks for everything, moon cat.
Rico, gift him.
[spits]
Food?
For me?
No one's ever, ever given me a gift before.
[sobbing]
Sorry.
You're quite welcome.
T-minus 5, 4, 3, 2,
1, ignition.
[thunderous roar]
Kowalski, status report.
I am randomly pushing buttons
while we spin out of control, Skipper.
Can I push one?
I'd feel better.
[snoring]
Prepare for splashdown.
[crashing]
Or crash down, as it were.
Foomp!
Oh, ho.
Hello, trap-happy penguins.
We were just "borrowing" your--
oh, it was Mort's idea.
Uh-oh.
Not to worry, my ringtailed neighbor.
I've had a little attitude adjustment,
thanks to my visit up there.
Hi.
Thanks for the fish!
So we didn't go lunar?
It seems I forgot to carry the two.
And there's no such thing as moon cat hospitality?
Hmm-mm.
Looks like we have intruders, boys.
Commence operation hammerhead.
Excuse me, hammer whose head exactly?
Fwat!
together: Hi-yah!
[skittering music]
[snoring]
And rollover.
On my mark, now.
[woman screams]
Code red.
Hiyah!
Heh-heh.
Hoo-hoo!
[adventurous music]
together: Hiyah!
What?
Kowalski, analysis.
Subject: Marlene.
Species: Otter. Sound...
[screams]
Okay, I can explain the scream.
Private, what do you make of the victim's scream?
I don't know, Skipper. Perhaps she had a fright.
Interesting theory, but how can we prove it?
Darling, did you have a fright, then?
Uh, yes, but I'm fine now,
so you guys can go back to sleep.
Night-night.
We can't just leave a helpless victim
in her time of need.
Who's a helpless victim?
What is all the commotion?
I was having a dream
where I'm the last mammal on earth.
Was I in it?
Yes, but you were roadkill.
But I was in it!
Otter hysteria.
Marlene probably saw her own shadow.
Mm-hmm-hm-hmm.
Six more weeks of winter, everyone!
A weird noise woke me up.
Okay? That's all.
I am not a hysterical, helpless victim.
And we don't need to turn this
into some kind of commando operation.
Private, recon. Kowalski, perimeter check.
Scanning for weird noises, Skipper.
Wait, I'm getting something.
[belches]
Eww.
Perhaps it was just a bad dream?
No. No, this was real, and real loud.
It was like, like, a ghostly moan.
Oh, no. What if--what if--
what if it was a ghost?
Then you can touch the ghost's feet.
Rumor has it that the previous occupant
of this habitat did disappear.
Under mysterious circumstances.
Ugh, he was transferred to Toledo.
Toledo!
- Ohio. - Waaaauugh!
Oh!
As king, it is in my power
to command any and all spooky spirits to get the heck out.
Do it, Maurice.
Okay. How?
[sighs]
Oh, Maurice, what am I going--fine.
This will require a tremendous amount of dancing skill.
Look out.
Give him some room, folks.
Trust me.
Oh!
[percussive, tribal music]
♪ Oh, spirits of the night ♪
♪ Who may or may not bite ♪
♪ You bring the otter fright ♪
♪ You bring the otter fright though you are out of sight ♪
- ♪ Go away, go away ♪ - ♪ Go way away ♪
- ♪ I say don't stay ♪ - ♪ I say don't stay ♪
- ♪ Go away, go away ♪ - ♪ Go way away ♪
- ♪ I say don't stay ♪ - ♪ I say don't stay ♪
- ♪ Go away, go away ♪ - ♪ Go way away ♪
- ♪ I say don't stay ♪ - ♪ I say don't stay ♪
- ♪ Go away, go away ♪ - Come on, men.
Let's leave this to the tiny dancer
and get us some shut-eye.
My ghost mojo is working.
Can you feel it?
Do you suppose Julien's singing
really scared away the ghost?
Skipper?
Sempre alerta, Private.
[woman screams]
Our turn, boys.
Commence operation our turn.
[adventurous music]
Talk to me, Kowalski.
These readings are off the charts.
Well, get bigger charts. Take it out of petty cash.
Do you ever knock, or...
Such pleasantries would only slow us down.
We do pride ourselves on our rapid response.
Okay, yes, I heard the ghost again.
Yes, I screamed again.
No, I don't need you guys on guard duty.
Obviously, this is a new ghost,
since the old ghost was just eliminated by me, your king.
Your little song and dance did bubkes.
Oh, and what did you do? Double bubkes.
- So shut up. - Rico.
- Fwat! - I meant see them out.
It's penguin time.
Oh.
Fine, have at it. You will come back begging,
and I will say, "maybe I help, but maybe not."
Skipper's log, 0200 hours.
All is quiet. Little too quiet.
The temptation of warm, soft slumber.
It's almost too much to bear.
Clank!
[snoring]
together: Hiyah!
Marlene. Marlene.
Marlene!
Aaaaagh!
At ease, Marlene, at ease.
Hoo, I was dreaming of screaming.
Huh. Weird.
It appears that the ghostly death rattle
is coming from your own respiratory system.
Oh, well, yeah, of course.
Can somebody just spit it out in English?
[snores]
Snoring?
I don't snore.
[recorded snoring]
Mystery solved. You spooked yourself.
That's not the scary sound.
Oh, come on. It's bloodcurdling.
[deep whining moan]
That's the sound.
The ghostly moan appears to be coming from down here.
From the sewer? Eww.
[grunting]
No dice.
It's knock-knock time, Rico.
Fwat!
Isn't that kind of, um, extreme?
No, two sticks of dynamite would be extreme.
This'll just let the specter know we mean business.
[explosion]
Clang!
Anything?
Negatory. Nada. Zippo.
I'm telling you, there is something--
together: Oh!
- Skipper! - Oh!
[coughing]
Are you my mommy?
Skipper, are you okay?
Never better.
Skipper's log.
Through mysterious means,
I've escaped the watery doom.
It wasn't mysterious, it was me.
Marlene, please.
The Skipper's log is no place for flights of fancy.
[growls]
I have entered the mysterious realm of the specter.
[toilet flushes]
It's the sewer.
Haunted sewer.
Kowalski, give me options.
I've, uh, come up with some options.
Anybody want to hear them?
Okay, why not?
It's just you and me, Marlene.
I say we do some recon.
I'll take point.
But I usually take point.
Hey, wait up.
[splashing sounds]
What was that?
Oh, okay, that's just great.
Here, you take the recorder.
Let me see that flashlight.
Sometimes, it just requires the magic touch.
There we go.
Ah, who needs it.
It was just giving away our position to the enemy.
About that enemy,
um, I'm starting to think it's not a ghost.
And why is that?
[snarling]
By golly, you're right.
That's no ghost.
Clearly, that's some sort of humongous
sewer monster!
Retreat!
[recorded snoring]
Some kind of monster from the darkest abyss.
together: Aaah!
[snarling]
Back up. I'm gonna need a perimeter.
[recorded snoring]
It's afraid!
Afraid of me?
Marlene, what are you doing?
Huh?
[shrieks]
Oh, guys, guys, help me.
Save me from the monster!
What do you know?
He's just a gator.
Yeah, who makes monster sounds.
No, nuh-uh, the monster is all...
[imitates snoring]
Oh, it's terri--it's horri-- I'm just--oh!
Back up a minute, uh...
- It's Roger. - Right, Roger.
Do you hear this monster around the same time every night?
Ooh, how'd you know?
- From up above? - Yes!
You heard it too?
Roger that, Roger.
I want you to meet your monster,
also known as Marlene.
[recorded snoring]
Oh, that's it!
Ah! That's the monster.
At ease, Roger.
She's actually very nice.
Ooh, aren't you boys tardy to the party?
Marlene and I have the situation under control.
So the Friedmans' youngest, Benny,
picks me up on vacation in Florida, uh-huh.
They were visiting their nanny in Tampa,
but that's neither here nor there.
Uh-huh.
I was just a baby at the time,
but you know, you change, you grow.
Next thing you know, you're flushed down the toilet.
Fascinating.
Actually, it's not as bad as you think.
Lucky break you went down there to rescue Marlene,
- isn't it, Skipper? - Actually, Kowalski,
I didn't so much rescue Marlene as--
well, let's just say, next time I find myself caught
in the swirling currents of raw sewage,
I hope that Marlene is at my side.
Aw, that's so sweet.
I think.
But I don't want to go into the haunted place.
Be brave, Mort.
Like me.
Hello.
[shrieks]
What's the matter with the guy in the funny hat?
I wish I knew, Roger.
I wish I knew.
[instrumental music]
[brassy detective music]