[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
- Hit it. - ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
♪ ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
[yawns]
[slurps]
Ever get the feeling somebody's watching your every move?
Our sincerest apologies, Skipper.
Not you, soldier.
Follow my lead.
Kowalski, recon.
- What do you see? - Not sure.
The enemy must have some sort of cloaking device.
How about now?
Oh, yes, we are under surveillance.
Evasive maneuvers!
Still there, still watching.
Impossible. We used evasive maneuvers.
[music playing]
Yo, Alice.
[singing softly]
Yo, Alice!
Oh! Ow, ow, ow!
I'm working here!
You done installing those webcams or what?
Yes, but I still think this whole internet thing is stupid.
Who wants to watch animals on the computer?
I want to watch animals on the computer.
Well, I want to watch me on the computer, you know.
What is a computer?
I like computers.
- So you know? - No.
But I don't have to know to like.
A computer is a machine the people use to avoid work,
mainly by watching silly little videos.
You're saying those cameras are there
so the whole world can watch us?
Like hawks.
Except for the swooping down and devouring us part.
Hopefully.
Don't you get it?
They're trying to get inside our heads,
stealing our secrets.
Wait, what?
Stealing our secrets!
No, they're not.
It's just for fun.
They've gotten to you.
There's no one we can trust, boys.
Rico.
[explosion]
Tell me more about this "people want to watch me" thing.
They watch us online
and then vote for their favorite animal.
Yeah, back at my old aquarium,
I was--I was the winner three years in a row.
Which is not very interesting to me,
because it is not about me.
See how that works?
Maybe you didn't hear me.
Three-time Internet Popularity contest winner right here.
Ooh, I can see me, but wider.
I would like very much to have it.
Well, since I'm out of competition--
scandal, long story-- I could help you if you want.
[laughs]
Silly otter, I do not need this thing called help.
Mm-kay, whatever.
If you change your mind, you know where to find me.
Yes, okay.
But I don't change my mind.
I have people for that.
Here's the plan. We give them zip.
Don't move a muscle.
Skipper, I-I really need to--
Go, go, go!
[toilet flushes]
Ah, much better, thank you.
[vomits]
[sighs]
[toilet flushes]
Maurice, hit it.
♪ Feel the beat, y'all ♪
Over here, silly camera.
Yes, yes.
I can feel my interweb popularity skyrocketing.
The Egyptian.
The sleeping bear.
The angry sloth.
Yes. No.
Wait, what is the matter with you?
Look at me.
Look at me!
Look at the angry sloth!
[stomach gurgles]
[whimpering]
[buzzing]
Ah-choo!
[whistles innocently]
Hold formation.
[yawning] Hold formation.
Just a few more years of this, and we're in the clear.
I'm telling you, these webcams are not gonna catch on.
The animals don't do anything interesting.
They just stand around.
Oh.
Oh, dear.
Stand strong, Private.
Aye-aye, Skipper.
Ooh, Private.
Why don't you come over and hang out with us
tasty, tasty, tasty fish?
The tastiness.
Rico, knock some sense into him.
Much better, sir.
I knew you'd listen to reason.
Oh, Private.
Gah!
[screaming]
[splat!]
[laughter]
[all snoring]
We're surrounded.
Hey, look, it's that funny penguin,
the one that slips.
Hey, Slippy!
Who's Slippy?
[cheering]
[cheering stops]
[cheering resumes]
[cheering stops]
[unenthusiastic cheering]
Pretty good.
[cheering escalates]
[cheering diminishes]
[cheering stops]
[raucous cheering]
Apparently, you are Slippy.
I don't want to be Slippy.
Oh, this is just sad.
Where is the showmanship?
Hello, Marlene, what are you doing here?
I live here.
Really?
Who knew? I didn't.
Julien, you never visit.
You must really be stinking up the internet.
Yes.
I mean, no, no, I could not be more popularest.
Everybody loves the king that is me.
Huh, well, I guess I should let you get back to it then.
Well, yes, I guess.
Probably so, I'm very-- they hate me.
They hate me.
I have to have the pretty, shiny trophy.
And that roly-poly penguin is hogging all the glory
that should be the king's.
I need your help.
Please, please.
I'll say it one more time, please.
Okay, since you are pathetically begging.
I don't know if I'd say pathetic.
- I would. - Okay, it's just a word.
- Help me now. - Okay, here's what I see.
Lights, music, artsy hats,
a performance that'll knock 'em dead.
Yes. And if they are dead,
they cannot vote for that ridiculous penguin.
We don't have much time.
Counterspying scenario, s'il vous plait.
Outstanding.
Blast, the enemy saw it.
We need another plan.
Ooh, even better than the last one.
Blast, the enemy saw this one too.
Well, our little internet star.
Private, retreat, double time.
Oh, dear.
Skipper, I'm captured!
Skipper!
He's just a boy!
Here you are, Slippy.
Your own little stage.
[together] Slippy, Slippy,
Slippy, Slippy!
[cheering]
[gasps]
Nyah!
[screaming]
[all gasp]
[cheering]
Slippy could get used to this.
Hoo hoo! [laughing]
[all cheering]
Topside slide, men, minus Private.
[sniffles]
Welcome to cirque du so great.
That really what we're going with?
Yes, because it is awesome just like me.
Now hoist your king.
[grunting]
[dramatic orchestral music]
Hi-yah!
Yes!
I'm pretty sure this ain't in my job description.
Kowalski, camouflage.
Rico, commence drilling, pronto.
This routine is gonna rock the house.
Yes.
I am a star!
Uh-oh.
[screams]
[drilling sound]
This madness ends now.
Hello, Skipper. Care for a bite?
We're busting you out.
Ooh, really?
Today may not work for me actually.
Between the slipping and the falling,
I'm booked solid.
Just as I feared.
You've been brainwashed.
I've been brainwashed?
Yes, you've been brainwashed.
Brainwashed.
You don't want your brain washed.
I don't want my brain washed.
[high-pitched whistling]
Incoming!
[screaming]
[clanking]
Ow.
♪ On my jungle scene ♪
♪ He is the funk machine ♪
♪ When they play that groove ♪
♪ He has got to move ♪
[laughter]
Good to have you back, young Private.
Although I do quite miss the Slippy lifestyle.
Oh, still a little brainwashed, eh?
Rico.
Much better, sir.
I am not believing
that the people voted this most popularest.
[singing]
♪ Come on, dance to rhythm now ♪
♪ Ooh, gonna dance to the rhythm now ♪
Yeah!
[tense detective music]
All right, men, we're up against nine ninja warriors.
together: Hi-yah!
Missed one.
Nice work, Rico.
Morning, guys.
Hi-yah!
Might want to watch out for the ninjas, Marlene.
You mean bowling pins?
I mean ninjas.
Don't you see the little faces on them?
Why are you guys working anyway?
Come on, it's Fun Day.
Fun Day?
Rico, code blue.
Private, weapons check.
Kowalski, options for--
hold on, wait, oh, whoa, whoa, what is this Fun Day?
Few humans visit on Mondays.
Thus our zoo overlords renamed Monday "Fun Day."
Why wasn't this in my morning briefing?
How am I supposed to know this stuff?
Come on, people, I'm not a mind reader.
You, Skipper, are just not Fun Day material.
Whoa, hit the brakes, sister.
What?
I've taken down an angry walrus
with a wing and a prayer and another wing.
I can handle anything.
Uh-huh.
Except fun.
Especially fun.
Right, boys?
Big fun.
Yes, Skipper, sure.
Hey, I'm as fun as the next guy.
Not if the next guy is that guy.
[laughs]
It makes my tummy tingle.
Hmm?
Hello, silly penguin.
What are you doing in my bouncy?
Because it's Fun Day.
And certain sea mammals think I'm no fun.
Well, hey, Marlene.
Check out this fun move.
I call it corkscrew.
[all gasp]
[strained grunting]
Whoa!
Oh!
Phew!
[babbling]
[screaming]
[screaming continues]
You, you did this.
What?
You did this.
I know, I know. I take full responsibility.
Well, 90%.
Whoa, whoa, I said have fun.
I did not say go nuts.
You're right.
I should not have corkscrewed.
Shame on me.
[growling]
Maurice, it was all in fun.
Come on, bring it in, bring it in.
I'm not laughing!
[slams]
All right, I'll try to calm down the screamer
while you guys go get his crown.
Sound like a plan?
It does sound like a plan, Marlene.
Gentlemen, commence operation:
give the furry crybaby his bottle.
She did stop the screaming.
I will get you for-- ow, ow, ow.
How am I supposed to be kingly without a crown?
It is the proof of my kingliness.
And that is why I'm going to make you--
ready?
Wait for it.
A new crown!
But the old crown and I have been through so much together.
Yes, yes, but it wasn't as amazingly cool as...
[squeaking]
This!
Huh? Huh?
It is puffy and complicated.
Like me.
Huh?
M-Maurice!
[gasps]
Eeh! Aah!
I got you.
Or not.
I want my old crown.
Uh, hey, Skipper, turns out the new crown didn't fly.
No, it did fly, too much.
Not to worry, Marlene.
We're on the trail.
Rico.
Private, hold the flashlight.
Oh, dear.
I don't like the looks of this.
Keen instinct tells me there's danger ahead.
And it's got my name written all over it.
You three wait here.
I think I'd prefer to tag along
if it's all the same, Skipper.
Denied, Private.
I corkscrewed us into this.
I'll go solo.
But you're forgetting the penguin credo,
never swim alone.
Skipper, we're in this together.
Uh-huh.
And by "this," I mean a steel cage trap.
My head is naked.
My head is nude.
My head is crownless.
Dark is my mood.
Crazy poetry, good stuff.
I want my crown.
And I have your crown,
a crown you'll love as much as you love yourself,
because...
it's you.
I am thinking that there is an awesome amount
of fabulousness going on here.
Huh? Huh?
It is hot with handsomeness.
And here's the best part.
Slurp!
Mm, my need for beauty and my need for fizzy drink,
both are satisfied.
[slurping]
[crunch]
Ah, my little head!
I like you hideously disfigured.
Yeah, get 'em.
Oh, boy.
Sewer rats.
They're actually quite cute.
[giggling]
Attenti-oh-nay, little rodentia.
Has anyone seen a leafy crown?
Maybe.
What's it to you?
We need it, pronto.
It belongs to our king.
And there's only one way to take it from him.
Smile and say please?
No.
Paw-to-paw combat.
Beat the king, get the crown.
[together] Beat the king, get the crown.
Beat the king, get the crown.
Beat the king, get the crown. Beat the king...
Okay, I'll go easy on him.
Where is the little guy?
[roars]
Oh, you are toast.
What was that, Private?
Um, I mean crusty on the outside,
soft and warm on the inside, and good in a jam.
Oh, that's nice.
You're going down, clown,
down to rat town.
Aren't we already there?
[chuckles]
Now, this might be working for me.
Yes, smart.
Do you really think you can pull it off?
Snake!
I don't--I don't--come on.
Snake!
That was a good look.
Tell me you found the crown.
Oh, the crown's been found.
That's great.
Wait, where's Skipper?
Skipper is unable to take your call right now.
He's about to battle a mutated rodent warlord.
Oh.
Huh?
Kowalski, analysis.
This appears to be a former lab rat,
thus the extreme mutations.
[laughs]
[screams]
Well, incredible size and brute strength...
and magnificent aim aren't everything.
Ha! Hyah! Ho!
Wah! Ha!
[roars]
You and me, bird, one-on-one.
Talkin' about no help from the flock.
Agreed, no assist from the flock.
Aww.
Let's dance.
I'll lead.
Hi-yah!
[grunting]
That the best you got?
Bird, that is some weak sauce.
Oh, yeah, missed me that time.
Feel the rat.
Who's your rat daddy?
[laughs]
[whimpers]
How do you like me now, flightless bird?
Mwah! Mwah!
[laughs]
I knew you'd go running home to your...
mama!
Poor Skipper. I can't look.
This is the worst Fun Day ever.
Fun day.
Of course.
The corkscrew.
[groans]
Ooh, ow.
Who's got the weak sauce now?
[all groaning]
Look, look, look.
You could be king of the cowboys.
Ride 'em!
Shut up, okay?
Can you not see that your king,
which was me until the incident, is brooding?
Okay, okay, I failed.
I failed.
Everybody, I failed. There.
I am an otter failure.
If I could just say a magic word and make your crown appear,
I would.
The magic word is Fun Day.
Ah, my crown!
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Oh, I have missed you, little head thing.
Uh, it has a smudgy spot on it.
Well, you see, there were these sewer--
No, this simply will not do.
Maurice, bring me my spare crown.
Mm-hmm.
Ha, ha, ha!
Much better.
A-a spare crown?
He just had, you know, just sitting around
just all along a spare crown all along?
Well, yeah, for emergencies.
What kind of fool king would only have one crown?
Please.
What?
No, no, never on a Fun Day, seriously.
[screaming]
[tense detective music]
[children laughing]