-We learned about peacocking. -Yes, sir.
We learned about disqualification.
Yes, sir.
When the girl was expecting you to give her attention,
you disqualified her.
She thinks this chap isn't interested in me.
So to confuse her more, we come to the third step,
which is qualification.
Now we have to qualify her
as she is shaken out of her comfort zone.
She is confused.
So now, you will shower her with compliments.
You will praise her.
You will flirt with her.
I won't teach you much about this process
as you've been doing this since you were a kid.
By doing this, you will develop an amazing bond.
You're up, baby?
This microwave should have a mute button.
It disturbed you.
I woke up because of a nightmare.
Really?
What did you dream of?
Never mind. How was your day?
I was so busy I didn't even get to eat anything.
I told Pradhan to order butter chicken.
That's a nice shirt.
-Really? -Hmm.
Take it off.
Say my name.
-Malla. -Pankaj.
Malla...
Sorry, baby.
-I ate too much today. -What happened?
The bread and chicken are engaged in a combat in my tummy.
Yuck, Pankaj!
-What's wrong with you? -Sorry.
You are a master at ruining someone's mood.
Let's do it tomorrow, baby.
-Screw it! You always do this. -Baby, tomorrow.
-Listen. We will do it tomorrow. -I am going first.
Listen. I hope you remember we have to go to Khi Khi on Sunday.
Why?
What do you mean?
I told you it is Riddhi's 35th birthday.
Listen. It will be difficult for me to come.
Why don't you go by yourself?
You have been invited. You have to come.
Elections are coming up
and Bangladesh's PM is coming in the evening.
I have to go there as well.
It's so late at night, please let's not argue.
I am arguing?
You know, Pankaj, people have started asking me,
"Is everything okay between Pankaj and you."
Pankaj is not to be seen anywhere.
Sure, just because of people you want me to accompany you?
Am I supposed to stop working?
I don't want to discuss this so late at night.
Tell me when you're coming out.
I'm not coming out. Go to the other bathroom.
I am warning you, I will get two bathrooms made in the bedroom.
Do what you want. Get lost.
You get lost.
My name is Pankaj Hooda.
This is also wrong. Let me explain why.
When you do this, it appears as you are hiding something.
Random walk! Random walk!
Let the energy flow. Like this.
I am your very own Pankaj Hooda.
But my name is not Pankaj Hooda.
Tilt your face upwards in this angle.
Move your hand this way. Try it.
-I am Pankaj Hooda. -Yes.
Your favourite politician.
Just transfer these two only.
You look nice today.
Thanks.
I'm sorry. What were you saying?
Do this. Do it. Very good!
Not like this.
Yes! That's right. That's a nice smile.
-Not so broad. A little less. -Like this.
And cut!
Vaibhav, it's my first appearance after that video.
Everything will go well, right?
You're my student.
Come on. Let's go.
Come on.
Brothers and sisters.
What is the pride of Delhi?
The beautiful infrastructure, metro, flyovers.
Delhi's ancient history.
No.
Not at all.
Delhi's pride is our mothers.
Our sisters. Our women.
Delhi's women aren't afraid of anything.
They are entirely safe.
That is not true. It is a dream.
Come evening, our women
think a million times before stepping out.
I swear, Ms Mishika, if my party wins in Delhi,
our mothers and sisters won't have to think before venturing outside.
Make a note.
Don't start speaking the truth during qualification.
You have to lie a little bit.
A big animal is made.
Keep it simple.
-Pearls. -Simple. Generally plain.
How is the pudding today?
I haven't eaten it yet. I will tell you.
It is different, ma'am. It's different.
Here. Let me try it.
Would that be different in a good way or a bad way?
No...
Scrumptiously different.
-Scrumptious! -It is delicious.
I prepared it today. Not the cook.
Enjoy.
Is it really that good?
It's terrible. Throw it away.
Exactly. Why did you lie to ma'am?
You'll know.
Let's say you bump into her
and her hair looks like shit.
You must still say, oh, your hair looks lovely today.
Long live, Pankaj!
A little to the side. To the side, sir. Good! Perfect!
Looks good!
One with ma'am now. Please join him, ma'am.
Mallika, tie your hair.
-What? -No.
It looks good open, but...
Right then. Smile please.
After all the disqualification, when you qualify her or flirt with her
or try to get pally with her, obviously she will act pricey.
It's okay.
Let her. Don't worry.
-I will build a surveillance centre. -Surveillance centre.
-And set up a proper system. -And set up a proper system.
Also, I will give you something that nobody has given you up until now.
Brownies made from chocolate sourced from Rone Valley.
-Try it. -Where did this come from?
What do you mean?
I made it myself.
Oh! You can do this as well?
The things that I do.
Hmm. Really nice!
-Yeah? -Hmm.
Hi.
-How are you? -I'm good. How are you?
-See what I got you. -Brownies!
I made them myself.
So much sweetness on the first date.
Yes, they are sweet.
The brownies.
Sweeter than you.
You should taste it and then tell me.
So good!
-Yeah? -So good!
-Sweeter than me? -Hmm.
By the way, I thought about what you said.
About what?
What you were saying on text
about the first time being special
and it should be with someone special.
Nobody can be special on the first date.
However, I can be special on subsequent dates, can't I?
So, does that mean we will go on more dates?
What do you mean? Don't you want to go on more dates?
I didn't say that.
So what did you say?
I said you have come very close to me.
Then should I move away?
I didn't hear anything.
I didn't say anything.
How will Delhi progress?
With its pride!
So, vote for My party, actually our party and help us win!
Then I shall throw a party.
Goodbye.
Jai Hind!
It was lovely.
The audience was going crazy. You know what, sir?
Once this is uploaded on social media, it will rock.
-It was truly good, sir. -Yes.
I want the job to be smooth.
-I don't want any mishaps. -Well done, Pankaj!
Nailed it. The pause in the end was excellent.
Wasn't it great?
So ma'am, what should I wear for the meeting with the PM today?
-Oh, yes. -Wear black.
Black? Great!
Which black?
-Sir, if you are ready, shall we leave? -That.
Yes, we'll leave.
And bring my car too.
Your car has been sent to the farmhouse, ma'am.
Why?
Oh! I will also be travelling in Pradhan's car today.
What happened?
Vaibhav said travelling in such an expensive car
won't make a good impression.
Everyone will think this bigwig won't understand
-poor people's plight and woes. -Obviously.
-Huh? -I see.
Please come aside.
How will I go?
Your Delhi Women policy hasn't been implemented as yet.
-I'll book a cab for you. -Go ahead.
-Luv. My boy. -Yes, sir.
Book a cab for ma'am.
Cabs are unavailable due to the rains, sir.
What are you saying? No cab is available in entire Delhi?
There isn't, sir. I am also travelling with Latika.
Go to hell.
I have a meeting.
But it's okay. I can try to cancel it.
Why don't you go with him?
Tell him.
I'll tell him.
Didn't I tell you I have to buy a gift for Riddhi?
-I don't feel comfortable going with him. -Then buy it online.
It won't be delivered today if I buy it online.
Yes, that's true.
I am not comfortable going with him.
Wait here. Let me see what I can do.
Hey! How are you?
Listen. Can you send me your car with the driver to India Gate?
Sure, you can have it.
But it will take him an hour to get there.
Okay.
-Ma'am. -Yes.
-Let's do one thing. -What?
-Come with me. -Huh?
I'll drop you on my way.
I'll be a little late. No big deal.
I have to drop off Mallika.
How do I drop her off in this junk car?
I've told you so many times to sell it and buy a decent car.
I will only buy the top model when I do.
You are so full of yourself.
So, Mallika is travelling with you?
That means you have made a lot of progress.
It hasn't come that far, but it will.
She will pretend she doesn't want to go with me, this and that.
In the end she will tell him you will not be able to drop me off.
I will go with Vaibhav.
No, you will get late.
I guess I shall go with him.
You'll have to go in the other direction.
-Are you sure? -Yes.
Let's go, Mr. Pradhan.
-Upload it on social media. -Bye.
Listen.
Set an alarm and call me in exactly 20 minutes. Okay?
-Why? -Just do it, buddy. Bye.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
I was thinking it's been a while since I sat in one of these.
-Oh yeah. -Quite interesting.
You're in for one hell of a ride.
I am. In two of those.
It's a little old.
But you know what?
It is old but it is still beautiful.
It is curvy at the back.
And the experience is always sexy.
-Yes, bro. Tell me. -Yeah.
I can't talk to you now. I am with someone.
Scoundrel!
You're with Mallika, right?
Okay, listen.
It would take a huge number of cunning people
to match up to you.
I'll take a female's perspective. Okay?
-I'll call you back. -Sure. Go, scoundrel!
Just don't get killed.
Crazy chap!
-Who was it? -My best friend Konark.
Basically, he went out last night.
He met a lady and they slept together.
In the morning, he noticed a ring on her ring finger.
He asked her, "Are you married?"
She said, "Yes." He said,
"Why? Don't you love your husband?"
So, she goes like, "No, I love my husband."
"But I am not in love with my husband."
Since then we have been confused what the situation is
with love my husband but not in love with my husband.
What does it mean? I love him but I am not in love with him.
What do you think she meant?
Nonsense. Obviously.
-Huh? -I mean,
if she's not in love with her husband,
-she should not be with him. -Exactly!
In my opinion, honestly speaking,
marriage is a pointless contract.
I mean, there is no marriage if there is no commitment.
And if there's no commitment,
why do you need marriage anyway?
So, one second. Let me get this straight.
Do you have a problem with love or commitment?
What just happened?
I told you, you're in for a ride.
The battery is dead.
But don't worry. The mechanics come over these days.
He will come within 30 minutes. Let me call him.
Perfect.
-Do one thing. -Yes.
Why don't you call the mechanic and I'll go to the market for a bit.
I have an errand that'll take me ten minutes. That's it.
Look at the rain.
I'll be fine. Call him.
By the time he gets here and repairs the car, I'll be fine.
All right? Okay, see you. Bye.
-Careful! -Yeah!
Shail, I've told you so many times to change the internet.
It does not work at all.
What are you doing in my room?
Shut up. I'm working here. Please. Okay?
Don't just barge into my room. No privacy in this house.
Girls are just too much!
It's your friend's birthday and you want to buy a gift for yourself.
That's not true.
I've bought a gift.
Buy that.
I'm good. Thanks.
Give me this.
Yes.
Speak louder, bro.
The connection has been made.
The connection has certainly been made, boy.
-Excuse me? -Nothing.
I'll transfer the money online.
Leave the keys on the dashboard and leave.
But what if it gets stolen, sir?
Then I shall give you double your fees.
Shall we?
The mechanic called. He just got here.
He says it will take another half hour.
Another half hour.
Well, what do we do?
Ice cream?
Sure. Let's go.
Thank God you didn't suggest tea and fritters.
I don't say anything typical.
You could have brought two umbrellas.
-And diminish the romance. -Shut up!
So?
What are your plans for the night?
Nothing much.
I'll go home, eat dinner
and then read something or watch something.
Then go to bed.
How I envy your life!
-Really? -No, grandma.
It's the weekend.
I'll go home. I will read something. Blah, blah.
What is that?
What are you going to do that's so interesting?
I have several options.
Such as?
Such as, option number one.
Go home and listen to dad drone on about something boring.
Hmm.
Where were you all day long?
Why didn't you answer my calls?
-What will you eat tomorrow? -How sweet!
-Sweet? -Yeah.
You didn't hear what I said.
I think you didn't hear what your dad said.
What other plans?
The other plan is an invite to a house party.
I could go there.
Actually,
why don't you join me?
-Me? -Hmm.
How can I go to your party?
Why?
It's your party. I wouldn't know anyone there.
I also don't know many people.
In any case, what will you do at home?
You will read and then sleep.
Pankaj won't return until morning.
Crap!
But how can I go like this?
What do you mean?
I can't go in a saree.
Why? You look so pretty!
This problem can be resolved.
Come. Come.
Incidentally, you might have to buy a shirt.
Yours is stained.
How does it matter?
Don't worry. We'll leave shortly. Come.
Oh, wow! I thought this was just a get-together
but this is a full grown party.
Your generation does get-togethers.
Really?
-Hello. -Tell her that I talk a lot about her.
Mallika.
-Hi. -Hi.
Konark.
-Konark. -Oh!
Kona... Oh!
-He keeps talking about you. -Let's go there.
-Go on. Move. -Great going, bro.
-Whose party have you come to? -He's here!
-Drink a little. -No. You know I don't.
Gross! You are a boring man.
-Ladies please. -Okay. Little.
You see? Gentleman. Yes.
This is very strong. What is it?
This is rum, whiskey, wine, tequila,
absinthe, and anything you can think of.
-Where did you find that recipe? -It is my secret recipe. I won't tell you.
I don't even want to know. Shoo. Go away.
You have some, boy. You are not going to lose anything.
Good going!
-You really don't drink? -I don't drink.
Why?
I don't like to losing control.
Oh!
Thank God you didn't say something cheesy like,
I'm high on life all the time or something like that.
High on life? Do I look like that kind of a guy?
You never know. Many people use it.
So, you never know.
By the way, I really love the vibe of this place.
It reminds me of college.
Come on! So, you haven't been to a party like this since college?
It's not that.
It's just around that time
there was some crap happening at home,
and after that I met Pankaj and he's not really the going out types. So..
And you were?
The going out types?
I don't really miss it much.
The weather is really nice today.
You do this every time you tell a lie.
What rubbish! That is not true.
Now it genuinely looks like a college party.
-Helo. -What is it? Why are you calling so late?
-Is everything okay? -Actually, Sir,
I want to tell you something about Vaibhav urgently.
About Vaibhav?
Now that you are becoming close to her and spending time with her,
you can very sneakily introduce something sexy.
But don't be very direct like, what's your favourite sex position.
You have to be very classy and very smart.
-Okay, tell me something. -Hmm.
What is the wildest thing you have done in all your life?
-Wild? -Yes.
I don't know.
What about you?
-You want me to tell you? -Hmm.
Okay.
So, at a similar house party,
I met this girl.
And both of us got drunk.
I used to drink back then.
And we got close.
Following that, we went to one of the rooms
and we were, like, you know, making out.
Suddenly, she came close and she said,
I like to rim.
What's rim?
Exactly. Even I didn't know.
Rimming is basically,
when you go down on someone
from the backside.
And me being me,
having no knowledge about rimming,
I said, okay. Let's do it.
And in the middle of it,
she turned me around
and she went down.
-And then? -She started to do it.
And I was like, oh my God!
It was... It was fun.
She was happy, I was happy because she was happy.
Your turn. You tell me.
Listen. When you said wild,
I thought bungee jumping or something like that.
I didn't think you were going to this tangent.
-Really, grandma. -Shut up.
I don't have any such stories.
I can tell you.
Yours.
-Sure. -Okay.
I think you must like that.
-What? -You like BDSM.
Oh!
So, just because I liked a leather dress,
you think I'm in some kind of BDSM stuff.
Lovely.
I think it's getting really late. I should get going.
We're having such a good time, man.
-Don't do this. -I have to go.
What?
I'll drop you in a while.
No, I can go. I'll be fine.
Okay. Help me Get up.
Why so much drama? You can get up by yourself.
Mallika!
Man! Mallika!
What's the matter suddenly?
Huh?
-Mallika. -Open the car.
Come.
What? What are you doing?
What are you doing?
This might be a regular house party for you, but it's not for me.
-What do you mean? -You know exactly what I mean.
What are you doing? I'll drop you.
-Panchsheel. -Listen.
Hey. It'll take 15 minutes. I'll drop you.
I'll be fine.
Auto! Auto!