♪ ♪
A vision is in my mind and in my eyes.
It cannot die, it cannot disappear,
'cause, 'cause it's like energy.
It just... transforms.
And maybe Wolfgang will come back...
as a ghost of a vision.
Which is the same thing as a vision.
Hai Lai, do you think it's okay for me to do the Requiem?
-(phone buzzes) -Oh, shit. Okay.
I actually do really want to talk about this,
but I am late for work, and then I have rehearsal.
-And then I have another work, -(duck quacking ringtone)
and then another rehearsal, and, okay, that's ringing.
And it's probably for you, so why don't you actually
just keep the phone? Just keep the phone. I won't miss it.
I don't want, uh, I don't want a telephone, Hai Lai.
HAILEY: Nobody wants a phone.
If someone feels neglected in a relationship,
they should say something, right?
Even if it's in front of the other person's uncle
-he hasn't seen in eight years. -Uh, yes.
If you feel neglected, you should definitely say something,
but just probably not in front of the uncle.
Naked monkey's ass in springtime, Hai Lai!
-What? -RODRIGO: Guess what.
What?
-Guess what. -What?!
They're calling you for the Fukumoto conducting competition.
They want to scout you next week.
-Oh, my God! What?! -Yes, I know!
Oh, my God!
You didn't tell me that you applied.
Why you didn't...?
'Cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Wait, what is it?
It's the biggest conducting competition
in the world. This could change her life.
THOMAS: What does that say?
"FFF."
Yes, FFF.
And why do you think Beethoven wrote three Fs
into this score, Alan?
Because he wanted it fortississimo?
Because he wanted to start a fucking riot.
He wanted to start an outbreak
of joy and terror and spontaneous copulation.
But of course we can't do that, can we, now?
No, no, of course we can't.
Because we need a trumpet section that can blow
-like the fucking apocalypse. -(motorcycle engine revving)
Thomas?
(engine idling)
Hello. Hi, how you doing?
Um,
I couldn't help noticing that you have a little problem
with one of your cylinders.
I didn't hear anything.
Well... I have a highly-trained ear.
-Oh. -In fact, I used to ride,
you know, with the Liverpool Black Diamond Club
way back in the '70s.
I had a Vincent Black Shadow.
May I?
Yeah, go ahead.
-(car horns honking) -MAN: Come on, let's go!
-What the hell? -Sorry.
We'll just be a moment.
(honking continues)
Here we go, here we go.
-May I? -Sure.
-(engine revving) -Oh.
(laughing): Oh!
Alan!
Fortississimo! (laughs)
(revving loudly)
I need the strings
to come on back towards this back wall here.
Good, yes, just bring your stuff.
Bring it all back. Here we go.
Good, that's it, that's it, good.
Um, winds, uh, you're okay.
Although you may need earplugs.
Uh, percussion,
you can walk away.
ALAN: And then what should they do?
Uh, just find anything to bang on.
You need a sound, so you got to find it.
Eraseface, you've brought the beast.
-She has arrived. -Hey, yeah, so me and the guys,
we rigged up this kind of, like,
-slide whistle thing. -Ah.
It's not really working, but when I figure it out,
-it's gonna be awesome. -HAILEY: Uh,
is this a bad time?
No, not at all, darling!
-(chuckles) -They're scouting me at my show at Lizzie's.
I can't believe it. Thank you for making me apply.
-Of course they are. -(motorcycle engine starting)
-Think bigger, Rutledge, think bigger. -(engine pops)
-(revving and sputtering) -Um, yeah.
So, to make it official, this is not working at all.
Um... but I can figure it out. It's gonna be great.
Are the players gonna be able to hear each other over that?
-I have no idea. -(engine revving)
I just think maybe I'm making a complete ass of myself.
Oh, well, me, too.
I have four days to prepare and I'm not even close to ready.
I think we're gonna do the Shaw,
even though we're still learning it.
-I don't know, we can discuss it at our lesson. -Hmm.
-I know it's unconventional, but... -Mm.
Yeah.
What?
Um, I can't really say, you know.
That's not like you.
Apparently, Bjarne Berggren had a nervous breakdown.
He chewed his fingernails off.
-Ew. -So they needed a last-minute
replacement on the judges' panel.
Oh.
(instruments warming up)
Oh!
So...
-you can't... -I'm sorry, no.
I'm barred from giving you any advice.
You're gonna have to find a new coach.
Do you know anybody?
No, but, uh, don't get a second-rate hack
and ruin my work. And...
(whispers): don't use that piece.
I mean, this lot, they're... "Go fuck yourself
if you're not Brahms classical."
So that's my final word.
Except...
if you blow this chance,
I'm gonna kick your ass.
-Okay, I won't. -Hmm.
Each of these candidates has extensive experience
in music education and would be
an extremely capable music director.
All you have to do is pick one.
You pick one.
-No, you pick one. -Gloria, you pick one.
No, I picked the last three.
They were all good. They were really good options.
-Well, you fired them all. -Oh...
Come on, Rodrigo!
Grandpa is here. He says he loves you.
And he says you should stop hanging around
-that girl Melissa. -Okay, I... I will pick one.
She's bad news.
But I'm not doing Mozart's Requiem.
I'm not doing it. No.
GLORIA: Rodrigo, you're doing it. You're doing it.
How did you learn to talk with the spirits?
I took a workshop at the Psychic Fair in Woodstock.
Ah.
There's someone dear to you,
a spirit you want to talk to?
Yes, yes. Someone dear to me, yes.
Bring me something he touched, like...
a toothbrush.
I don't think toothbrushes existed back then.
Table four is waiting for those mufongos.
Yeah. Sí, perdon. Perdon, perdon, perdon, perdon.
-Maestro? -Yes.
Ms. Windsor said to tell you she's on a tight schedule.
Okay, um, Sharon, could you...?
Um... can you help me get something
that Mozart touched, like a, like a toothbrush?
I'm sure I can help you with that.
Ay, thank you, thank you so much, thank you.
I just wanted to let you know that...
whatever feelings I've had for you are over,
and, um, I'm ready to pursue
a purely professional relationship.
No.
Okay, okay, that's fine.
Help me with the mufongos.
-Yes. -Yes? -(plates clatter)
Thank you... okay, thank you.
And, Gloria?
I was thinking, how about the Fauré's Requiem?
It's a good one, no? It's just a requiem.
He said he wants Mozart.
That's the only thing he wants.
Excuse me.
I'm the musical director, you know? So, in a way,
I can choose whatever I want.
Are you all right? Because you don't seem like yourself.
I'm fine, I'm fine. What-what do I look like?
You look tired.
And... a little nervous.
Yes, I am nervous, Gloria. I'm nervous because
you make me do these things all the time.
Fuck! I feel trapped, I feel completely trapped!
Okay, okay, now, listen, listen, I'm gonna try something.
So asphyxiated!
I'm going to treat you like an adult.
Yes, because I am an adult, Gloria.
I'm an adult.
You did this. You, okay?
You wanted a youth orchestra.
I said it wasn't the right time, but you went ahead.
Fukumoto is a godsend for us.
The youth orchestra,
the building, our future.
He makes everything easy.
Yes, Gloria, I want to do things the easy way.
The only thing is that I don't know
what is happening in my head right now.
I believe you're the greatest conductor alive today.
-And I believe you can lift this city up. -Hmm.
Lift the kids up.
Same way
Maestro Rivera lifted you up.
So...
don't let us down.
Me, or him, or them.
Yes.
Hey, uh, did you pick one?
-♪ ♪ -Yes.
I pick you, Cynthia.
-Oh, no. -I pick you. -Oh, no, no, she's off the menu.
-You're the best. -I'm leaving. -No, she's not.
-I'm gonna go see if... -Tell him! -No, Gloria.
-Maestro? I found something. -No.
Some...
(classical music playing)
(song ends)
Okay.
So, the Leonarda, it's very beautiful.
A little slow, but I like that it's an obscure
baroque female composer; that might surprise the judges.
-Cool. -Totally.
But just to play out the other option, the Berlioz,
it's more down-the-middle programing-wise,
but it's more of a showpiece, so...
-Yeah. -Totally, yeah. -Awesome.
Are you guys just agreeing with everything that I say?
-No. -Yes. -We really have to go.
Let us know what you decide.
(sighs)
It's called a Gunpowder Plot.
I just learned how to make it.
HAILEY: Wow.
Here's to you.
Congratulations.
And to day drinking.
There are three decent coaches in this city.
Two of them are already working with other people,
and one of them is conducting Stravinsky
in the Himalayas, so I'm fucked.
-You have other options, Hail. -Have you even been listening
to anything that I've been saying
over the past three months? I'm...
BOTH: ...trying to stay out of his orbit.
Yes, I have heard you.
I know the words to the song.
But are you really gonna sacrifice your chance
to be in the Olympics because you don't want people
to judge you for taking his advice?
It's not what other people think,
it's what I think.
Well, maybe that's the problem.
RODRIGO: Hai Lai!
I'm sorry I missed the rehearsal.
Say, Mr. Boyfriend, what do you think about
the Leonarda for the scout?
RODRIGO: I think it's a really beautiful piece.
-Why not? Yes. -Yeah.
'Cause she's thinking about changing it.
Well, you can change it, you can do
whatever you want-- of course, yes.
-Wait. What? -Hai Lai,
we should get a car right now
and go to Long Island.
I would love to,
but I have to stay here
and review all of Western music
to find something that encapsulates my essence.
Okay, trust me, trust me,
this place that I'm taking you,
I think you'll get what you need.
Come on, come on. Follow me.
L-Lizzie, can I leave the bicycle here?
LIZZIE: Yeah.
(mid-tempo classical music playing)
♪ ♪
RODRIGO: So, the person that we are seeing right now,
this guy's called Morton Norton...
Mort... Norton Morton.
He's the biggest... biggest top collector
-of musical "ephemephra." -It's "ephemera."
"Emephera."
-Ephem... ephemera. -Ephem...
Okay, so you need one of Mozart's toothbrushes?
Yeah, or-or something he touched.
I lost him, Hai Lai.
He told me not to do the Requiem.
-Mozart said that? -Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and then...(blows) he was gone.
First it was Maestro Rivera, then no Mozart.
You know, it's like my head and my spirit is gone.
I'm floating without any dark matter, you know.
I'm just drifting away, like a galaxy, you know,
-without anything. -(door opens)
(plays fanfare)
Announcing Rodrigo DeSousa and...
-Uh, Hailey. -Hai... Hai Lai Rut-Rutledge.
Hai Lai... (rolling "R"): Rutledge.
(performing Gesualdo's "Che Fai Meco, Mio Cor")
-(music ends) -MORTON: Che bella.
My soul was transported to realms empyrean.
Except, Mary Beth, what the hell?
It's meant to sound dissonant, not disfigured.
Again, from the top.
(singing resumes)
HAILEY (quietly): Wow.
♪ ♪
MORTON: Maestro!
Benvenuti nel castello di Norton.
Yes, you are the top collector of musical ephemera.
-Right? -Am I?
Or do I remind you of someone else?
You do remind me of Carlo Gesualdo,
the 16th century composer, but just a little bit.
-Not... not so much. -(gasps)
I can tell you that I feel most myself in his skin.
Wasn't he the composer with the great harmonies,
but who also killed his wife?
Oh, that horrible, vicious rumor.
It has never been proven.
Didn't he run down the street covered in her blood?
Are those actually Paganini's strings, or...?
MORTON: I have age-tested the fibers.
They are definitely North Italian, 19th century,
but whether they are the genuine article
or some elaborate fraud, not even I can say.
Much the same as you, Maestro DeSousa.
May I say that I have been longing to meet you?
Uh, this, by the way, is most definitely
Beethoven's ear horn.
RODRIGO: Oh, my God, it is.
Mr. Morton Norton, we are here because
the maestro really needs something quite badly--
-something very important. -Yeah.
-And, uh... -All right.
These things happen from time to time.
I can show them to you, but that's all.
I hope it won't come to blows.
All right, so I managed to get the tailpipes tuned to A-flat,
and I got this contact mic that I'm running
through some pedals into my digital workstation.
Okay, listen, um, just work on the tone a little.
And we have to
get it up to E-flat.
Ah, here's my other beautiful machine.
What the hell is this?
I took three trains to get here.
I-I know. Listen.
I need a player tonight.
I need a player with heart and balls.
There's no money, no glory, and
I don't know what's going on with your wrist.
Oh, fuck it, I'm yours.
You pay for my cab home.
I adore you, Cynth.
Your childhood maté gourd.
-Mm. -The jacket you wore
at your conducting debut.
Mm.
Locks of hair.
Yes, that's my hair. My hair.
Brought to me by La Fiamma,
before she went back into the asylum.
So sad.
The asylum?
Listen, I see that you're both upset,
and I understand.
People find out that I have acquired
their leave-behinds, and they want them back.
Yours I procured merely as speculation.
Who knows if they'll ever really be of any value?
What do you mean?
Well, what I mean to say is that
I would be willing to strike a bargain.
How much did you pay for my maté?
Okay, that's not why we're here right now.
We need something that belonged to Mozart.
Why, do you intend to dress up like him,
girlfriend who is more important than the Pope?
That would be kinky.
Maybe, if I'm in the mood.
Good. I recommend it.
It is such a privilege to choose the time
in which we live.
I so detest the present.
Why Mozart?
Okay, y-you know when you're talking to someone,
and it seems like they're there,
but then they're not actually there,
and then they disappear?
Oh...
You have lost your muse.
Yeah, he's an asshole of a muse.
So many of them are.
Where will you put the audience?
Wherever they can get in.
Oh, God, I haven't felt this nervous
since I did The Dick Cavett Show
after downing a handful of peyote.
Oh, now, don't worry, darling.
Everyone's here just to have fun.
What?
Is she playing with you?
Oh, yeah, Cynthia. Mm.
Okay, so, I'm 93% sure
that it's not going to explode when you first touch it.
-Hmm. -But if it does,
-I pre-apologize. -Pre-apology accepted.
Have you seen Hailey? I was supposed to meet her here.
You're, um... Eraserhead.
Erasefa... I'm sorry, I don't mean to be obnoxious.
Just, like, people know...
No, yeah, you're, um, you're playing my venue in Bushwick.
Oh, yeah, no, I'm... I'm pretty booked
for, like, four years, but thank you for being a fan.
I appreciate it.
Oh, no, no, I'm not a fan.
I mean, what you do is fine,
but I'm-I'm, uh, I'm just desperate.
I need to sell tickets, so, uh, say yes.
Yeah. Okay.
Great. (chuckles)
Wait, why did you say yes?
I don't know, I guess I kind of like women
who treat me with disdain.
Ah... this is the violin
that belonged to Mozart's sister, Maria Anna.
Wow.
-My brother stole it from me. -(Hailey gasps)
-Hi. -Hai Lai.
This is great. Really nice.
-RODRIGO: Yeah. -And then he played
little ditties all night to taunt me.
Liszt's writing desk.
-MORTON: Bartók's... -I cannot see the appeal.
I suppose he is sensual.
Packing cases from the Ballets Russes.
I don't even know what's in them.
Is he quite good at the lovemaking?
Uh, yes. Shh!
What did you say?
I said shh-it looks amazing... here.
Meet me in the Damentoilette.
I'm gonna go to the damn toilet right now.
You okay, Hai Lai?
Yeah.
Welcome to the ladies' room of feminine ephemera.
WOMAN: Horrid name, is it not?
Hailey Rutledge, meet Isabella...
-Isabella Leonarda. -(classical piano music plays)
I'm conducting one of your pieces right now.
I know, I've heard it.
Bless you, my child, bless you.
That piece that you're playing, I know it.
"Die Nonne"-- "The Nun." Fanny wrote it,
although Felix took the credit for it.
Excuse me for not getting up, Fraulein,
but, as you can see, I'm in this...
interesting condition.
Fanny Mendelssohn, I've listened to over 100
of your pieces back in high school and...
MARIA ANNA: She wrote hundreds more.
Of course, they were never published.
Is that a, uh...
My baton, yeah.
Batons came into style when I was a child,
but, of course, I could never have one,
so I made it myself.
Just to dream.
So, what are you doing here, Fraulein?
Wandering around this dusty manse.
Well, I'm um... I'm actually being scouted
for a conducting competition,
and I'm trying to pick my music.
They let you conduct?
They let you compete?
Tell us everything.
Mozart's death mask.
-Made an hour after he passed. -Hmm.
I acquired it
from the Austrian National Library in 1991.
And these.
Pages from the Requiem.
Most of the beginning was completed, of course,
but then it fades away and simply ends.
As did he.
Can I borrow them?
(laughs)
You are a ballsy little turnip.
Please. Please, there-there's this woman in the Bronx
that told me that I have to bring her something
that-that Mozart touched.
She can bring him back to me.
Oh, my dear boy.
You don't need a woman in the Bronx.
You are speaking to the master.
Hey.
Can you tie me up in back?
HAILEY: Well, there's the Berlioz,
-which is a little safer. -FANNY: Safer?
If you think riding on the wings of the Devil is safe.
Well, but there's also the Caroline Shaw piece,
and she's into all sorts of weird shit,
like Tuvan throat singing or little janky bells
from the hardware store,
-or-or flowerpots, or... -Flowerpots?
Was ist das?
The blumen pots.
-Ah. -I thought you were going to do my piece.
The "Vivace." I was so happy.
It hasn't been done in over 300 years.
Uh, well, I-I just need to consider all of my options.
Isabella's piece is too tame.
Tame? I was a rebel for my time.
You are already a woman.
You are already different.
Pick the piece that will make you acceptable.
And win,
for those of us who never got the chance.
Tell me more about this, uh, Caroline Shaw.
Okay, well, the piece that she gave me is called "Hi."
And it's about how she wishes we could all say hi to each other
with total explosive joy and realness,
like a volcano of-of happiness and sorrow, or like a spaceship,
but I guess you guys don't actually know
what a spaceship is, but like a spaceship
that you would take to the stars,
and from there, you can see everything.
Look at how your face changes when you talk about it.
I'm just tired of doing things that are acceptable.
I want to do something else.
MARIA ANNA: This competition.
Yeah, whether you win or lose, that is not in your hands.
Play the music that will change them forever.
I like that.
I think mine would be a good compromise to play.
-Don't... you think so? -Mm-mm.
My baton.
Take it.
No. Fanny, I can't do that.
MARIA ANNA: Why?
He won't miss it. He never comes in here.
He's not interested because we cannot make him the money.
Take it, Fraulein. For luck.
-Take it. -MARIA ANNA: Take it. -FANNY: Take it.
-Take it. -Take it. -Take it.
(repeating): Take it.
(cello playing)
This is how Gesualdo spoke to the spirits.
Wearing an amulet.
Conduit between the worlds of the living and the dead.
♪ ♪
The familiar object encased in a book of magic.
(orchestra playing)
Let's begin.
(motorcycle revving)
Holy shit.
I really don't know which one is hotter right now.
(music stops)
(inhaling, exhaling)
RODRIGO: Wolfgang?
Gesualdo?
Norton Morton?
Morton?
MORTON: He's nearby.
But I'm having trouble making the connection.
(shrieks)
Ask him.
Why doesn't he want me to do the Requiem?
Because you never listened to him,
you traitor.
I tell you, he's an asshole.
He's an asshole.
(gasping)
He says,
"If you think I'm an asshole,
wait until you meet the other guy."
What other guy?
(sighs)
And he's gone. Wow.
They kind of have to want to talk to you.
It's a seduction, really.
Wh-What other guy?
-So, Glo, tell me the truth. -(Gloria laughs)
-What do you think? -Oh, what can I say?
It was wonderful and totally surprising.
I-- you know, I-I didn't know what to expect next.
-Mm. -Which is great.
-You hated it. -No, not at all.
-Not at all. No, no... -Yes, you did.
-No, no, no, no. -You hated it.
I'm still just processing.
-You have to give me a moment... -Okay.
(crickets chirping)
Did you get what you need?
No.
I don't think so.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here,
and say that I think Mozart,
or whatever,
it's a part of you.
You're worried about doing the Requiem for other reasons.
Your maestro died.
You didn't get to go to the funeral.
Yeah.
You're very kind to me.
Everyone's kind to you.
No, not the way you are.
Listen, Thomas can't help me.
Why?
He's a judge in the competition.
So I was wondering
if maybe you could help me get ready.
M-Me? Like, the coach?
And the boyfriend?
Yeah. We'll get you different hats,
so we can tell the difference. But, yeah.
Okay, yeah, but i-isn't that too much in the orbit?
Well, I think it's you coming into my orbit.
Okay, I like that. Yes.
Also, I'm gonna do the Shaw.
-The Shaw? -And if it's too out there,
-then I'm too out there. -Of course, Hai Lai, no.
The Shaw is-is really good.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
(piano playing in distance)
(whispering): Do you hear?
I'll come back.
(whispering): Wolfgang?
(piano continues)
Johann Sebastian?
MAN: Rodrigo DeSousa.
It's me.
Mr. Smiles.
The Guru of Glitter.
The Candelabra Kid.
Ay, Liberace.
Mm-hmm.
Where's Wolfgang?
Gone.
And good riddance.
I mean, you two had nothing in common.
Whereas we...
are kindred spirits.
No, no.
-Yes. Yes. -No.
Well, for starters, we both love the limelight.
No.
(piano playing)
♪ Daisy, Daisy ♪
♪ Give me your answer do ♪
♪ I'm half crazy all for the love of you ♪
♪ Oh, it won't be a stylish marriage ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't afford a carriage ♪
♪ But you'll look sweet upon the seat ♪
♪ Of a bicycle built for two ♪
♪ Oh, you'll look sweet upon the seat ♪
♪ Of a bicycle built... ♪
Big finish.
-♪ For two. ♪ -♪ For two. ♪
(piano continues playing)
(piano stops)
(Cavallaro's "Funiculi, Funicula" playing)
♪ ♪
ro's "Funiculi, Funicula" playing)