[waves crashing]
[seagull cawing]
[tense music]
♪ ♪
[gasps]
Oscar?
- What happened? - You passed out.
You've been out for a while.
I brought you close to the ocean.
It's kind of like the fountain.
[waves crashing]
[Oscar] My God.
I was so tired.
I don't even remember.
Well, you stormed into our party like a crazy person
and said a bunch of mean shit to me.
Like what?
Well, you told me I was a home wrecker,
and you also said I was selfish and evil
and am a poser.
Well...
great.
Because I do think those things,
and I'm glad I said them.
What? Are you serious?
Yes, you did a cruel and horrible thing to me.
You just ran off with someone else.
By the way, what's going on there?
- Are you a lesbian now? - No.
I mean...
Kase and I just have a very...
deep understanding of each other.
So you're not sleeping with her?
No, but you know what? Even if I was,
it wouldn't necessarily make me gay.
- Sexuality is a spectrum. - Oh, shut up.
No, I will not shut up.
You know, it wasn't an easy decision.
Do you know how hard it was for me to leave?
No, I don't, because you didn't
come to me like an adult to talk to me about it.
Anytime I ever tried to talk to you about it,
you avoided the conversation.
- That's not true. - It was always the case
when we were alive, and it got even worse after we died.
- Not true. - You're doing it right now.
- Disagree. - Oh, my God.
This is pointless.
So...so is that why you came all this way?
You just came here to tell me that I'm a bad person?
- Yes. - Oh.
Also, I never cared for your sister.
Kathy or Stephanie?
Well, of course I'm talking about Kathy.
Everyone loves Stephanie.
She owns that wonderful cupcake shop.
Are we done?
Have you finished getting all your
childish shit out of the way?
Now that you mention it, no.
I'd like a divorce.
What? Are you joking?
You realize we're dead, right?
- I, Oscar Hoffman... - Oh, my God.
...do solemnly swear to divorce June Hoffman
on the grounds of desertion and emotional violence.
- This is so stupid. - Just do it.
Oh, oh, and then we're done? Great.
I, June Hoffman, do solemnly swear
to divorce Oscar Hoffman on the grounds of being
a passive-aggressive dick.
Okay, mine was more legal.
But I guess that's it.
- All right, officially. - Great, officially.
I'm gonna go back to Riverside, all right?
Where people are nice.
- Mm-hmm. - So...
- good-bye forever. - Good-bye.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
Jesus Christ!
What's going on here?
Getting ready for The Cleansing.
- What is that? - Once a year,
we take all our belongings out to the beach,
build a giant pyre, and burn them.
Fuck!
Why do you do that?
It's a reminder that we should always forget.
- What? - Objects that were once
so permanent are now ephemeral to us.
We were like butterflies, and now they are.
Such an irony, no?
Plus, a fire on the beach probably looks pretty cool.
[laughs]
June, sometimes the things you say are stupid,
but I still enjoy them.
What a gift that is. Treasure it.
Thank you. I will treasure it.
Shit!
[exhales]
I'm getting out of here.
You guys can hang out or whatever.
[jazz music playing]
♪ ♪
I'm actually a little jealous that you got to get divorced.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
So are you doing okay with all of it?
- I actually am. - [chuckles]
I swear, I feel like a weight
has been lifted off my shoulders.
- I feel great. - Me too.
[both laugh]
This party is amazing.
I think it's the best party I've ever been to.
Oh, I don't know.
I was once invited to my nephew's bar mitzvah
where the theme was restaurants.
[both laugh]
♪ ♪
- Think I'm gonna head home. - Aw, really?
Yeah, I'm tired.
If dead people get hangovers, I'm fucked.
[both laugh]
- Do you mind if I stay? - No, of course not.
- Bye. - Bye.
♪ ♪
[music stops]
Hey, everyone, I know we've heard a lot
of really great music here tonight,
but, uh, here's what I consider to be
the greatest song of all time.
[man] Two, three.
♪ This is how we do it ♪
[playing Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It"]
♪ Sha-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪
♪ ♪
♪ This is how we do it, it's Friday night ♪
♪ And I feel all right ♪
♪ The party's here on the west side ♪
♪ So I reach for my 40, and I tip it up ♪
♪ Designated driver, take the keys to my truck ♪
♪ Hit the 'Shaw because I'm faded ♪
♪ Honeys on the street say, "Monty, yo, we made it" ♪
♪ It feels so good... ♪
Hi, Marisol. It's Gregory!
[all] ♪ This is how we do it ♪
♪ All the gangbangers forgot about the drive-by ♪
♪ You gotta get your groove on before you go get paid ♪
♪ So tip up your cup, throw your hands up ♪
♪ Let me hear the party say ♪
♪ I'm kind of buzzed, and it's all because ♪
[all] ♪ This is how we do it ♪
♪ South Central does it like nobody does ♪
[all] ♪ This is how we do it ♪
♪ ♪
♪ This is how we do it ♪
Here, you finish it. Don't screw it up.
[all] ♪ This is how we do it ♪♪
[dramatic music]
Hey!
I see you! Get back here!
♪ ♪
It's not me! I'm someone else!
You're not gonna get away. You got fucked-up feet.
♪ ♪
[both grunt]
What are you still doing here? You said you were leaving.
I tried to leave. But I couldn't.
What do you mean you couldn't?
What am I looking for? Where are we going?
Just wait.
How's Kase?
- She's fine. - Mm-hmm.
You guys ever share shirts?
We have our own clothes.
It's not that weird a question. You are around the same size.
You know what? We don't have to talk.
[man] Hello there.
- Shit! - Jesus!
- Where are you headed? - Nowhere.
That's not true. I'm not going anywhere.
He's going back to Riverside.
- I don't think he is. - We've been over this.
- He and I have been over this. - What do you mean?
Sir, I don't know what your exact deal is,
but this is my ex-husband, and he needs to go back
to Riverside so he can get the hell out of my life.
I'm afraid that's impossible.
All roads lead to Oceanside.
We've met before.
I feel like you said that to me last time.
Did he say that to you before too?
I think he did, yes. Um, please, sir.
I won't tell anyone about Oceanside, okay?
I'll just zip it right up if that's the problem.
But you got to understand, this is a bad situation.
- Yeah. - All right?
This isn't the kind of divorce where we're still friends.
- She had an emotional affair. - I did.
You got to understand, right? I mean, have you been married?
Divorced?
All roads lead to Oceanside.
- Great. - I told you.
- I told her. - He did.
But she wouldn't believe me, so I had to show her in person.
It's true.
You know how it is, right?
You know, right, wives?
[chuckles]
I mean, if you're married.
I'm getting more of a bachelor vibe from you, so...
I don't know.
All right.
What's in your briefcase, by the way?
I've been wondering.
- Is it just papers? - We should go.
Yeah, I think you're right.
- All right, thank you. - No.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- Well, this is me. - What?
This is where you've been living?
Well, what else can I do?
I don't want to be anywhere near where you are.
So, what, are you just gonna stay here forever?
Definitely not.
I have a plan. Let me show you something.
There she is.
- There what is? - It's a boat.
That's not a boat. That's, like, three logs.
Well, it's not a boat yet. I'm still working on it.
He said all roads lead to Oceanside.
He didn't say anything about the sea.
Do you even know how to build a boat?
Yeah, I built a lot of model ships when I was a kid.
It's the same principle. Just have to up the scale.
- Oh, Jesus. - I can do it.
I just need some more materials.
Yeah, like what?
A knife, a sail, maybe some more rope.
I mean, I could use a lot of stuff.
This is basically just three logs.
Maybe you can help me.
Why would I do that?
Do you want me out of here or not?
It's gonna take forever if I have to keep sneaking around.
- I don't know. - Come on.
We don't even have to see each other.
Okay, there's this flat rock
right around the bend over there; you can't miss it.
Just leave it there and I'll pick it up.
Yeah, sure, okay, fine. I'll help you.
Great.
But only because I don't want you distracting me
from putting on a fucking awesome concert
for all my friends.
- It wasn't that awesome. - Shut up. I was great.
You ran out of breath too much.
Ugh.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- Hey. - Morning.
You just getting home?
Uh, yeah, I got caught up.
Uh-huh.
I'll, um...I'll catch up with you in a bit.
Okay.
I can see you.
Oh, you're still here?
I think it's pretty obvious I'm still here, yeah.
I was just checking the time.
I built a sundial down there.
It's between 2:00 and 7:00.
- It's 11:00 a.m. - Oh.
It's cloudy.
So I brought your bedsheet.
It's a little small.
It would maybe work for a topsail but not a mainsail.
Sorry to disappoint you, Master and Commander.
How's the boat coming?
Wow.
You actually made a decent amount of progress.
That's so surprising?
No.
Well, it sounded like you were surprised.
- You said "actually." - God, Oscar.
I was trying to give you a compliment.
I mean, it still looks very shitty, okay?
Is that...is that better? Does that help?
I'm just saying, I was right and you were wrong.
I told you I could build it.
I just needed to flush out the bones of what I had, and I did.
Okay, great.
Actually, you know what?
Since we're never gonna see each other again,
it's not "flush out."
It's "flesh out."
- What? - You always say "flush out."
It's "flesh out," you add flesh to something
to make it more full.
"Flush out" doesn't make any sense.
You just sound like an idiot.
I've heard it both ways.
Yeah, the way that you say it and the correct way
that everyone else in the world says it.
Flesh, flesh, flesh, fleshed, flesh, fleshed,
fleshed out, I fleshed it out,
the committee fleshed out the proposal.
Okay, yes, I see what you're saying.
Great, great.
Well, that's settled, then.
You should try to be ready soon.
We're doing this thing called The Cleansing,
and everyone will be distracted,
so it'll be a good time for you to sneak out.
What's The Cleansing? Is that...
is that ethnic cleansing?
No, no, it's a lot of fires on the beach
and dancing and shit, probably.
No genocide.
Thank God.
All right, I'll be ready.
And then this... will all be over.
Yeah.
- Great. - Wonderful.
Okay.
[♪ Henri Texier: "Amir"]
♪ ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ ♪
Here's your ham.
Not sure what you wanted this for.
Are you gonna eat it on the boat?
What? I wrote "hammer."
Oh, no, the seagulls got the "-mer."
Damn it, Oscar, that ham was heavy too.
Well, it's here. Might as well eat it, I guess.
Knock yourself out.
You want some?
I guess. I did carry it all this way.
I don't have any utensils, so you have to use your hands.
That's all right.
It's not bad.
How sandy is your piece right now?
- Very. - Mine too.
But food on the beach is tough.
It's a weird place to be eating, you know?
It's kind of hard to thread that needle.
Yeah, like...
if your food is handheld, it's going to get sandy.
But if you need utensils, well, you're lugging around
a bag of forks and knives.
Mm.
I wonder...
What the all-time best beach food is.
What about ice cream?
The beach is hot, and ice cream melts.
I mean, the second you start on that cone,
you're trying to beat the buzzer.
You're licking around the edges,
trying to stem the tide.
I mean, you're not handing me a snack.
You're handing me a time bomb.
Good point, all right.
What about churros? It's portable, delicious.
A lot of carbs, gives you energy for swimming.
Are you insane?
Churros are covered in a substance
that looks exactly like sand.
What's sand? What's cinnamon sugar?
I don't know. I guess I'm eating both.
[laughs]
All right, genius, what's your brilliant idea?
Oh, I'm not here to be helpful.
I'm just here to shoot down any ideas you've got.
Ah, all right.
Wait.
The perfect beach food is...
buffalo wings.
[laughs]
Super saucy, sticky,
really spicy for that hot beach weather,
- Oh. - Then when you're done,
you feel awful and you're left with a gross pile of bones.
Ooh, plus, they'll probably give you diarrhea.
Great news, you're doing that at the beach.
[both laugh]
You know, honestly...
I kind of do want wings right now.
Mmm, yeah, that sounds good.
No offense, ham, but I wish you were wings.
Sorry, buddy.
[laughs]
Wait, what'd you just call me?
You don't need to use that kind of language.
He just called you a fucking asshole.
[laughs]
What are you, anyway?
What part of the body are you, ham?
- Yeah, ham. - Are you a hock?
- Oh, now you're quiet, got it. - Oh, oh, oh.
- You have nothing to say now? - Now, you're quiet.
- Now you're quiet? - Okay.
- Oh, fine, that makes sense. - Yeah.
What are you doing?
Oh, hey, I didn't hear you walk up.
- Hi. - I thought you left.
Why are you still here?
I couldn't leave.
The guy with the briefcase wouldn't let me.
Well, then why are you two sitting here yukking it up?
This was the first time we sat down and talked,
and it was just about nothing.
Didn't seem like nothing.
You know what? We're all too dead for this shit.
You two do what you want.
He and I are done.
Really, we're done. Come on.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
[indistinct chatter]
[Kase] Look at this thing.
Can you believe we're here?
It's pretty crazy.
♪ ♪
[tense music]
♪ ♪
Hey.
I got a hammer for you.
Oh, okay.
Let's see if this works better than my rock system.
Yup, it definitely does.
I was right to ask for this.
All right, that's it.
She's ready to go.
So you're really gonna do this, huh?
Yeah.
Gonna leave tomorrow at dawn, when the tide shifts.
You do know that the ocean is a very big place, right?
I mean, look at this shit.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, I can do this stuff.
I built this boat, you know, from sticks and garbage.
I walked all the way here
without ever touching a Current.
You know, I think the whole time I've known you,
I've underestimated you a little bit.
Yeah, I think that might be true.
Honestly, it's probably because I used you
as an excuse a lot of the time.
What do you mean?
Well, sometimes I blamed you for being in the way
of me becoming this hypothetical
amazing, new version of myself.
But I was never gonna become that person.
Do you remember that awesome new job
I told you I got after you died?
Yeah.
The truth is, uh...
when I went to interview for the job,
I totally freaked out and ran away.
And I only got the job because, basically,
everyone that worked at my company got arrested,
and I was the only person left.
I knew that place was shady.
You weren't the problem.
I was.
It was just a lot easier to blame you.
And I'm sorry for that.
I mean, it's nice of you to say those things, but...
you weren't totally wrong to blame me.
I never made it easy for you.
There were times where I knew you weren't happy,
and there were times where I wasn't happy,
but I was always afraid to talk to you about it.
- Why? - I don't know.
I think, in the back of my mind,
I was scared that if we really did
talk about our problems, you'd realize
that you were way out of my league.
Really, even after all this time?
Yeah, I know it sounds stupid.
God, I ended up making everything worse
and pushing you away.
God, and here we are.
- So I'm sorry too. - Thank you.
You're welcome.
- All right. - All right, um...
- good-bye. - Bye.
Hey.
I think we just had our first honest conversation ever.
Too bad it wasn't when we were alive.
[chuckles softly] Yeah.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[indistinct chatter]
- Hello. - Hello.
- Hey. - Hey.
Where were you?
Uh, I needed to give Oscar one more thing.
He'll be gone in the morning.
Everyone, gather around.
The time has come.
The Cleansing has begun!
[upbeat percussion]
[people cheering]
♪ ♪
[Kase] Hey, there you are.
[laughs]
Oh, whew. I need a breather.
Gregory lit my face on fire.
- What? - Yeah.
- We can do that? - Yeah.
- Wow, how'd it feel? - It was okay.
It's kind of like eating Thai food.
Huh.
Yeah, I never knew what to order at Thai places.
Every time I tried to order a salad,
it always ended up being really spicy meat, somehow.
[laughing] Yeah.
Hey, are you starting to forget things?
- Yeah, a little bit. - Hell, me too.
This is a little crazy,
but I'm having trouble remembering
what job I had when I was alive.
You definitely told me.
Um, but I think it was so boring, I forgot too.
[both laugh]
Good.
To hell with that shit.
Right?
I'm really glad we came.
Hello.
- Hi. - Hi.
Kase, I need someone to light me on fire,
and I really want it to be someone I trust and love.
Oh, I can help.
- I'll be right back. - Okay.
[grunts]
I love being dead!
♪ ♪
[June] Bananas!
What?
Bananas.
Bananas are the ideal beach food.
They're handheld, sweet but not bad for you,
filling but not heavy,
and the best part is,
they come in their own wrapper that protects them from sand.
Which is biodegradable, so you can throw it away anywhere.
Exactly.
Mm-hmm, bananas.
That's the winner.
I love you.
I love you too.
- I never should have left you. - It's okay.
You're here now. That's all that matters.
[exhales]
So what do we do now?
Should we go back to Oceanside?
No, I don't want to go back to Oceanside.
Maybe we should try for Riverside again?
There's got to be a way.
No, we shouldn't go backwards.
Right.
Let's find another way.
We do have a boat.
[Oscar grunts angrily] [June] Oh, no!
[Oscar] God damn it.
No.
- I worked really hard on this. - It's okay.
She was really impressive, at least.
Thanks.
[exhales]
Well, what now?
I have an idea.
Do you trust me?
Of course.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
[water lapping softly]
[seagulls cawing]
♪ ♪
[♪ Novi Singers: "Mazurka in A minor, Opus 17, Number 4"]
[people vocalizing]
♪ ♪ vocalizing]