[birds chirping]
[♪ UGK: "Ridin' Dirty"]
♪ Got my heat right between my seat ♪
♪ Got a box of them thangs ♪
♪ In case these fools start playin' with me ♪
♪ You'd be surprised how them boppers wink ♪
♪ Girl, I can't stop ♪
♪ Give my headlights a blink ♪
♪ And roll them up out the top ♪
♪ And keep movin' and keep rollin' ♪
♪ The fools that don't be holdin' ♪
♪ I'm coming through and foldin' ♪
♪ And I can't stand snitches, wanna kill all of y'all ♪
♪ Even though some bustas thought I'm still rolling ♪
♪ Like a ball and having things my way ♪
♪ Hitting that highway, selling that big yay ♪
♪ A plush-ass place to stay ♪
♪ Police, they wanna run in ♪
♪ Talking on cell phones got a lot of kids done in ♪
♪ I wanna live like Arnold, Willis, and Mr. Drummond ♪
♪ And keep my paper sturdy, big birds and tight herbs ♪
♪ Fool, I'm ridin' dirty ♪
♪ Uh, what, big birds and tight herbs ♪
♪ Fool, I'm ridin' dirty ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ridin' dirty ♪
♪ Uh, what ♪
♪ Fool, ridin' dirty ♪
♪ Uh, what ♪
♪ Tell me, can you feel it ♪
♪ Man, nothing can save you ♪
♪ I believe it's that season ♪
♪ For getting your papers ♪
♪ Or haven't you heard... ♪♪
[bird caws]
What the fuck was that?
Calm down, man. It was just a bird.
Yeah, I don't know, man. Or a drone.
It was a bird, trust me.
What do you think they're saying?
What are you talking about?
Man, they're not just making noise for no reason.
- They're communicating. - Well, if you're so smart,
what are they saying?
[bird cawing]
"Come fuck me. I'm a bird."
[whistles]
- [bird caws] - "Come fuck me."
That's all birds are ever screaming about all the time.
Can't just be that.
What about, "It's too cold. Let's fly south,"
or, "I got a worm over here"?
See, that's the thing, if you were a smart bird,
you wouldn't talk about the worm.
- You keep that to yourself. - But in this scenario,
you're telling your babies.
Help them grow and shit.
[scoffs]
Man, so this is your job?
You just get paid to sit in this car all day?
Yep, I think they shut down this neighborhood
'cause of a mold problem or something.
I forget.
I just drive around, make sure nobody sneaks in
- to do drugs or anything. - [laughs]
Nice, nice. Hey, I got to piss, man.
Where can I do that?
Look around, man. Nobody's here.
Piss wherever you want. Take a shit. I don't care.
Damn, this job rules, man.
It's amazing that you're here.
I dreamed of this happening.
I mean, I...I didn't want you to die,
but you know what I'm saying.
I just...
I missed you so much.
I missed you too.
Who's that guy, honey? Is he a friend of yours?
Why is he just peeing in front of us?
He's a Current.
That's what we call people who are still alive.
We're Formers.
We can see them. They can't see us.
Different worlds.
[bird caws]
Hey, man, this place is creepy as fuck.
Let's get out of here.
It's funny, there's only two reasons
the living ever come here: to pee or to do drugs.
Those guys did both.
Holy shit.
It's okay. She's gonna be all right.
Come on, I'll show you around.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- Hi, Jim! - There he is, Big O!
[laughs]
- Konnichiwa, Oscar. - Konnichiwa, Nakajima-san.
Um, Mrs. Nakajima is teaching me a couple of words of Japanese.
It's going very yoku.
Japanese?
Yeah, I've made a lot of friends here.
There's so many interesting people.
♪ ♪
Are you okay?
Yeah, it's just a lot to take in.
Of course. You're doing better than I was.
When I first got here, I was doing a lot of
touching my own face and screaming.
Thank you.
So what are we supposed to be doing?
I don't know.
- Does anybody know? - Not really.
No one like, sits you down
and gives you an informational packet.
That would have been cool. I love packets.
I kind of feel like I got tossed in the deep end here.
- Can we sit down for a second? - Of course.
Look, there's not a ton for you to know.
We just kind of live.
I know it sounds a little ironic, but...
well, that's the only word I can think of.
So this is it? We just...
keep going?
I mean, how long does this go on for?
I mean, what's the point of all this?
Well, what was the point of the thing before this?
[whispering] Oh, God.
Oh, boy. Oh, man.
Is this really happening?
Am I hallucinating?
I took a Tylenol PM before my flight.
But this...this really seems extreme.
Hey, you got to be careful with those.
They're habit-forming.
I guess it doesn't matter now, because, well,
you're definitely dead.
[dramatic music]
Is there a god, honey?
[exhales] I don't know.
But there is a shuffleboard court here.
♪ ♪
Oh, and this is actually important.
I...I need to tell you about this.
What is it?
[Oscar] It's the fountain.
[June] It's pretty. Does it do something?
Well, one of the things we do know
is that the farther away you get from the fountain,
the weaker we feel.
You can't tell if you're close, but you start to notice
as you walk farther away.
- How far can you get? - It's hard to tell.
I mean, you just...you don't want to push things too far.
No, don't touch that!
Why? What happens if I touch it?
Nothing, I'm just fucking with you.
Should have seen the look on your face.
You were like, "Uh..." [chuckles]
Hey, check this shit out.
Fuck, almost got it.
Try...try it again.
- Fuck! - Who's this asshole kid?
That's Mark. He's my best friend.
[Oscar chuckles]
He died in the '70s,
so he's been here a long time.
- Come play with us, Mark. - No, fuck off, Josiah.
You'll play with us someday.
[Mark] Ugh, I hate those kids.
Something about dying young really fucks you up.
It's like getting famous at a young age.
Okay, can we maybe go home and just relax for a second?
Of course. You must be overwhelmed.
- Yeah, it's a lot. - Let's go back home.
- It was nice meeting you. [Mark] Yeah.
Reunion fuck.
[Oscar] Hi. [June] Hi.
Oolong tea with, uh, just a touch of honey.
- Your favorite. - Oh, wow.
They have that here?
Well, it showed up when you did.
I think you're really gonna like it here.
It's not so bad.
And it's a lot better now that we're together.
I'm so glad you're here.
Me too.
I'm really, really, really, really glad you're here.
[both chuckle]
It's cool we can still do that, huh?
Wow, this house is really nice.
Yeah, I had nothing to do with it.
It was like this when I got here.
There are so many seating options.
[chuckles] Yeah.
Hey, what do you think is the all-time
best way to sit, ever?
That's easy.
Cross-legged, left over right.
- Okay. - See, it's comfortable.
It's fun. Put your coffee right here on your knee.
Ah, but don't you think you're being a little sexist?
I mean, that would be fine if I were wearing jeans,
but what if I decided to put on a pencil skirt?
You'd be getting a real show right now.
I say, if you're gonna cross your legs,
why don't you go all the way?
See that? Stable, compact, right?
And the best part is,
I'm not showing off my genitals.
Mm-hmm, okay, now you're being sexist.
- What? - Oh, yes. Look.
In your version... look at that.
This crushes my genitals.
- Oh. - It's like a vise.
That's why I always sit like this.
- You always sit like that? - I just get up on here.
- Here we go. - Mm-hmm.
- You got your heels together. - Right.
Right, just dig these out like that.
And just put your shoes right on the couch.
- Just like that, right? - Yeah.
Okay. Oh, this is nice.
- And then palms up. - Oh, palms up.
Right, so that, you know, if you're at a party
or something like that, "Oh, can I have a drink?
Just place it on there. That's fine."
"And could I get a drink too?
And, you know, one for my friend here?"
Um, I think if you also add a really deep stretch to it.
- Yeah. - This is great.
The winged butterfly position, right?
We figured it out, I think.
I feel like I could sit like this forever.
Yeah, same here.
[inhales, mutters]
- Are you in a lot of pain? - I am in immense pain, yes.
[both groan]
Oh, I really thought that I would be
a lot more flexible after death.
[groans]
Hey, um, I want to show you something.
- Right now? - Yeah.
It's a little bit of a walk.
But I promise you, it's worth it.
Okay, let's go.
Look, here it is!
[chuckles]
The lake house.
It's close enough to the fountain.
We can come here whenever we want.
This is great.
[Oscar] Amazed that I found it.
It's exactly how I remember it.
- Just like old times, huh? - Yeah.
Hmm.
We had some good times on that couch.
- What? - Sorry, it sounded sexual.
But I was mostly talking about when we played Uno.
Uh-huh. [laughs]
So what should we do when we're here?
Should we walk down by the lake?
We could go out and sit on the back porch.
We could take a nap.
[man] You guys have fun fishing?
[girl] Yeah, that was very fun, Daddy.
[man] Thank you. - Who the fuck are these people?
[woman] That was really fun, Daddy.
What the hell is happening?
Oscar, I have to be honest with you.
I sold this house a few months ago.
I just didn't know if I would use it that much.
[man] Oh, my God.
He's got his wet boots right on the floor.
I'm so sorry. It was a really tough decision.
You know what?
It might be fine.
They don't know we're here. They can't see us.
I mean, we can still do whatever we want.
- Yeah. - [family chattering]
Okay.
[both exhale]
I missed this.
Me too.
[geese honking]
Is that a Canada goose?
Uh-huh, yep. I think it is.
[both chuckle]
That's mine! Give me back my bracelet!
- No, I want to wear it! - It's mine!
Separate, separate! I will take away your phones!
[girl] She started it. [man] Get inside.
- No. - Stupid.
- Idiot. - Hey, would you...
This is... We're having fun here!
This isn't gonna work.
- Maybe we should go? - No.
No, this is our lake house. We were so happy here.
- I know that, but... - There's plenty of cabins
around here.
These people can find another one.
I don't see why they would ever leave, though.
Come on, guys. Really?
I thought you'd be better than this.
What do you mean?
I know what you're getting at.
Well, what do you think I'm getting at?
You want us to... [exhales]
..."haunt them."
When you say it like that, it sounds stupid.
I mean, could we even do something like that?
We can, but we don't.
Our community, Formers, we don't do that.
- Well, why not? - Well, first of all,
it's really hard to do, and it plays into
stereotypes about us.
We're just past that as a culture.
Okay, but what if...
we told you you had to because you're still a kid
and we're adults and you have to do whatever we say?
Is she fucking joking with this shit?
We're sorry. She's sorry.
I'm fucking 58, lady.
I'm older than you. Show some respect.
Okay, I'm sorry. It just looks like you haven't
gone through puberty yet.
- Oh! - Please, just...just this once.
I mean, it's really important to us.
That was our special place.
Ugh, your special place? That sucks.
- Why? Why does that suck? - You know why.
- Hey... - [scoffs]
...I'm asking you as your buddy.
How about this: if I help you out,
you have to cook me dinner every night for a month.
Are you kidding?
I-I would love that. Please, yes.
Uh, we'll start with Italy.
We'll do a food tour of the world.
Ugh, never mind, maybe just a week.
- Great, let's start tomorrow. - No, maybe you can just
make me a sandwich at some point.
- I would love that. - No, forget that whole thing.
Whatever, let's just go.
Great! Oh, you're a good friend.
No, I'm not.
Actually, I don't think he is a good friend.
No, he is. Just got to give him a chance.
[man] Oh, my God, tater tots, so good.
[man] Thank you, honey. [woman] Thank you.
[woman] Want a tomato? [man] All right.
Dudes, if you had just told me the mom was this hot,
I would have come right away.
Isn't she a little young for you, Grandpa?
What are you talking about? I'm 17.
- You said you were 58. - I'm both.
[sighs]
So why do you want to get rid of these Orientals?
Oh, come on, you can't say "Orientals."
- The term is "Asian-Americans." - I'm from the '70s.
It wasn't racist to say anything back then.
- People were cool. - That is so not true.
- What are you, by the way? - Hey, okay.
Now, what do we do?
Get some sheets, some chains or something?
Jesus, follow me.
We got to wait until it's dark.
So we're kind of limited with what we can actually do here.
All right, um, what are our options?
Let's try the light switch. That's a classic.
[Oscar] Okay. - So first thing.
You have to imagine all the energy,
emotions, whatever in your body
is flowing to the tip of your finger.
If you concentrate hard enough, you'll feel a buzz.
Then, and only then, will you be able to flip the switch.
[June] Hmm. [Oscar] Okay, I got it.
You want to try it, honey?
Check it out!
- Go ahead, honey, just... - I am.
There you go, just flip it.
- That's it. - [scoffs]
Just go up. Flick it up.
You got this. Here you go.
- And up! - [groans]
It's kind of hard.
Are you feeling the buzz, honey?
- Yeah! - No, he's not, not even close.
Well, maybe it's his teacher's fault.
Those instructions were pretty vague.
The instructions were fine.
Maybe he's distracted by your nagging.
- Oh, my God. - Don't worry, guys.
Okay, I'm gonna get it.
Okay, s-sometimes it helps if you're angry.
You...you can channel that into your finger,
like when you punch a wall.
- [grunts] - Come on, sweetie, you got it.
- Come on! - [grunts]
That's it. That's right. Come on, push it!
[grunts]
I can't get it, I'm sorry. I think I hurt my finger too.
- It's all right. - All right, all right.
Watch and learn.
[breathing deeply]
- [exhales] - Whoa!
- Amazing! - Oh, my gosh!
But it didn't work. She's still sleeping.
Aw, shit.
Well, I can't do it again, so we're out of luck.
Well, can I give it a shot?
[breathes deeply]
- Oh, my God. [Mark] Holy fuck!
[gasps] Oh, my God, look!
- [laughs] - [screams]
I'm doing it! Oh, shit!
- Great, honey! - Oh, my God!
That was pretty good.
What are you... what are you so angry about?
Nothing.
Okay.
[man] See, honey, it's not doing it anymore.
I saw it, I swear. The light was going crazy.
- It was super creepy. - It's probably just
a messed-up fuse or something.
I will check again in the morning.
- In the meantime... - No, no, no.
[man] Just, it is so late... - Yes, honey, come on!
- The systems in this house... - Get it.
Let me at it. Let me at it! Come on.
...the electrical systems are, like...they're really old.
We have a big day tomorrow, please?
Oh, my God, look, that horse fell over by itself.
[man] That is weird. [June] Uh-huh.
I don't want to sleep here tonight.
Yeah, I don't think you should be in here.
Oh, yes! Suck it, nice family!
Family campout in the living room!
- Yay! - Yeah!
Oh, no, no, no, no, what are they doing?
- Who wants marshmallows? - I do!
This is a lot more fun
than sleeping in our stupid bedrooms.
- Isn't it, guys? [both] Yeah.
This is extremely frustrating.
[woman] We'll probably look back and laugh
when we tell the story of the time Allison saw...
[dramatic voice] the Lake House Ghost!
- Boo! - [all laugh]
- Assholes! [man] It's on, it's on, it's on!
Honey, just...just think of it like a wave
flowing from your hand to the object.
None of the advice has been helpful.
- Hey, should we sing a song? [all] Yes!
[both] No.
How about "She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain"?
[all] ♪ She'll be comin' round the mountain ♪
- ♪ When she comes ♪ [girl] ♪ Toot, toot ♪
[all] ♪ She'll be comin' ♪ ♪ round the mountain
♪ When she comes, toot, toot ♪
♪ She'll be comin' round the mountain ♪
♪ She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes ♪
♪ Toot, toot, she'll be driving six white horses ♪
♪ When she comes ♪♪ [man] Wa-hoo!
Well, what now?
There's one last thing I can think of.
I don't even know if it's possible,
but I heard a rumor that this Former
named Howard did it once.
- What is it? - It's called flipping.
If you focus hard enough, basically turn your body
inside out, the Currents can see you for a split second.
- Oh, my God. - That sounds very scary.
We got to try it.
Again, I don't even know if it's possible.
I believe in you. If anyone can do it, it's you.
Well, you're right about that.
Let me go inside, get prepared.
Try and scare the shit out of these...
"Asian-Americans."
You know, honey, um,
I really appreciate you taking me here.
Um, but I've been doing some thinking, and...
I think maybe we should let this go.
- What do you mean? - I mean, look.
I...I think that we've had great times here,
and this place will always be special to us.
But it's just a house. You know?
Plus, the two of us are in this new situation
that's kind of weird, but it's very exciting,
and I really think we should embrace that.
You know, I think the most important thing
is we're together, right?
[grunts] My God, you're so right.
- Yeah? - I got caught up
in wanting to relive the past, but we don't have to do that.
There's plenty of other stuff we can do.
Exactly. Yeah, okay, good.
- All right. - Let's get out of here.
- Good.
- [retching] [June] Ugh.
- What happened? - [spitting]
I tried to flip. I couldn't do it.
[retching]
- Oh, my God, it's so much. - Well, good news.
We decided to let them stay.
You don't need to scare them anymore.
What? You fucking dicks!
Hey, there's no need for that.
And by the way, your language is very salty.
You should work on that.
Well, I'm not saying anything right now. Is that better?
Oh, yeah, that's better.
Chickenshit.
Guys, everyone take a breath.
I mean, we're all on the same team.
No, we're not.
We're all on the same team. Let's go home.
I'm gonna stay, see if I can catch the mom taking a shower.
Ugh, no, you're not, you fucking little creep.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
Wow, you look amazing.
I didn't get any clothes that look that good.
Well, I think your clothes look perfect.
I think you look perfect.
All right, I've got another surprise for you.
- Yeah? - You ready?
- Okay. - Okay, so...
- Wow. - Yeah, sit here.
Thank you.
- You all right there? - Yep.
Okay, so I know we lost the lake house,
but that doesn't mean we have to give up
all of our traditions.
Like...
...my special trout amandine.
There you are.
And ta-da!
Thank you.
[soft piano music]
I thought you were gonna smell it
and it would ruin the surprise, but I was able to hide it
a little bit just behind the counter there.
Put some extra dill in it.
Mm-hmm, not bad.
Needs a little more pepper.
♪ ♪ little more pepper.