"O Basanti"
"Shake a leg in front of these dogs"
"Players"
"When a girl cries at night"
"Her mother says better go to sleep"
"Otherwise the 'Players' will turn up"
"Chicks from twelve countries Are looking for us"
"But it's impossible to catch us"
"It's impossible to lay your hands On the Players"
"When it comes to having fun"
"We are a cut above the rest"
"We're the kings of fun"
"We're the Singhams of fun"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"We're the kings We're the Singhams"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"O Basanti Shake a leg in front of the dogs"
"We're the kings We're the Singhams"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"I have a bungalow I have a car"
"And I have mom's old sari to cover you up"
"Wherever we set foot"
"Girls queue up behind us"
"When it comes to having fun"
"We are a cut above the rest"
"We're the kings"
"We're the Singhams"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"We're the kings We're the Singhams"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"Quiet!"
"Let the world know If we make a commitment"
"We listen to no one Not even if its brother Dabbang"
"Service Available 24/7"
"Once you take it"
"We won't give you a Chance to complain"
"We don't"
"When it comes To having fun"
"We are a cut above the rest"
"We're the kings"
"We're the Singhams"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"We're the kings We're the Singhams"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"We are a cut above the rest"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"We're the kings We're the Singhams"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
Deep! Deep! Deep! Deep!
Hello.
Deep, why are all these girls standing in a line?
I know, they all want you to hit on them, right?
No, silly.
They all want Deep to beep them.
Beep? Meaning?
Let me explain? You see, I care for our society.
I don't want to be a bad influence on anyone.
That's why I automatically
'beep' all the bad words.
For example, if I want to curse someone,
I say...
-You're such a big 'beep'. -Oh!
And you're a bigger 'beep' than him.
Why don't you both 'beep' off!
Viagra... I mean etc, etc.
Who are these two girls?
She's my right hand and she's my left.
Aren't you my right hand?
Stand there. You come here.
Don't keep changing places, I get confused.
Hold it.
So as I was saying,
she's my right hand and she's my left.
Sometimes I use my right hand and sometimes my left.
Sometimes I use both.
Tell me something Beep, I mean Deep.
Back in college when it came to girls you were a pauper.
So how did you become a Prince now?
Not a prince but a player.
What's a player?
The world calls them rascals.
Girls say to them give me more.
That's the real "player".
Deep, even we want to be a player like you.
Then follow this simple rule.
Always listen to your elders.
Otherwise you will always lose out on the fun that's coming your way.
It was a stormy night
and I was dropping an old lady home.
She politely said to me, "Son, it's raining quite heavily,
why don't you sleep over tonight?
In fact, you can sleep in Bunty's room.
And I said "Bunty?"
"No Aunt, I'll sleep out here on the sofa."
And I slept on the sofa.
It was dawn soon.
Hello. Good morning.
"Talk to me"
"Yeah"
-You? -I am Bunty.
"Hello"
-You are Bunty? -Yes.
And you are?
If you're Bunty
then I am a 'beep' hole.
A big 'beep' hole.
"Talk to me"
Excuse me.
Players!
Go and conquer the world.
And whenever you need me
you'll find your friend standing here.
At One Night Stand.
Now leave.
Don't just sit here. Go on.
Beep off.
You dog!
I am Doctor Maalkholkar.
And I'm an expert in driving out the sex virus that's in all of you.
-Yeah! -Yeah, yeah!
Sex-addiction is a real problem.
And the patient is always
under the grasp of lust.
He always thinks of only one thing.
Sex. And in order to save all of you
from this addiction, I have started this rehab.
Last week, I gave our group members homework
to make a report on the dangers, reasons
and techniques to counter sex-addiction.
And the first ones to present their reports
are Mr. Aditya Chotiya and Mr. Sunny Kele
who joined our group a few weeks ago.
-Wow! -Thank you.
Thank you.
The most defamed fruit in the world is apple.
History has taught us
that Adam and Eve were thrown out of Eden because of an apple.
But the truth is Adam got in trouble
because of his Banana, and not the Apple.
Yes, friends. Banana.
Whenever a man or a woman slips
the reason is always a banana.
-Yes! -We both follow a simple philosophy.
If you want to plant your sapling
then find a land that's ready.
Posing as fake sex-addicts and blaming the apple is just an excuse.
Because the national fruit of the world
is a bloody banana.
I know those who take advantage
of people's weakness are scoundrels.
But we're not scoundrels.
We're just
-Players! -Players!
"Players"
"We're the kings"
"We're the Singhams"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"We're the kings We're the Singhams"
"Welcome to fun"
"Players"
"So let me come"
You're too good.
Like that.
Do it. Do it.
That photo on the table, is that your husband?
Huh?
No, darling.
I see, then it must be your boyfriend.
I don't have a boyfriend.
Oh, that means he's your son.
I must say, you've really maintained yourself.
I don't have a son.
I get it, he's your brother.
Elder or younger?
Darling, I don't have a brother.
-Maternal uncle. -No.
-Paternal uncle. -No.
Then he must be your neighbor.
-Correct? -Wrong.
Then whose photo is in your room?
And so close to your bed.
Darling, that's a picture of me.
I had it taken before my operation.
"Players"
-Oh yeah. -"Players"
Honey, I am home.
-My husband's here. -Husband.
-My husband. -Husband!
-Just go. -What do you mean go?
-Just go. -What about my clothes?
Why are you running nude?
What the...
-Do you always run naked? -Yes.
You see I love it.
I feel very free.
-Do you always run while wearing a condom? -Yes.
No! Not always.
Only during the monsoons.
Monsoon?
So, that it doesn't get wet.
Raincoat.
Guys, your sex life is so exciting.
It's been ages since I last had sex.
Your parents are to be blamed for it.
-They named you Shekhar. -What?
Since then you've always been a shaker.
Give me a few tips please.
No, silly boy.
Superman can only teach you to wear your underwear over your pants.
But not how to fly.
We were born with our superpowers.
-Superpowers? -Yes.
-I don't get it. -Let me explain it to you.
Superman has x-rays.
But we've got chicks-ray.
Chicks-ray?
-Yes. -I still don't get it.
Wait silly boy, we'll show you a demonstration.
Yeah.
Look.
That madam's wearing pink.
And look, that one's wearing grey, top and bottom.
Wow.
-See? -I don't see anything.
Hold on.
Oh my, God. Look at that.
-Yes! -Grey.
Chicks-ray. Chicks-ray. Chicks-ray.
What powers, guys.
There's not a single girl
who can escape our chicks-ray and our powers.
Exactly.
There's been no one yet.
"All night long everyone Just stares at you"
-Hi, Chotu. -Hi.
"Baby"
What do you want today, Chotu?
What?
What do you want today, Chotu?
-Oranges. -What?
I want to squeeze the juice out of them.
It's healthy after all.
By the way, I hope I didn't disturb you.
No, no, not at all.
I was playing with my pusky.
-Playing with what? -Pusky.
-You like puskys, right? -I love them.
You know small, cute...
Actually, I was on Skype with it.
Pusky.
Meow!
Well...
Here you go.
Squeeze the juice out of them properly.
Yes, I will squeeze them out properly.
-By the way. -Yeah.
Please spare some time and come to my house someday.
-I will give you rice and then put it in. -What?
Lentil, which my mom cooks.
Oh, okay.
Well, see you. My Pusky is calling.
Okay.
-Bye, Chotu. -Bye.
Bye.
Lele, please give it to me.
Oh shit.
Come on.
-Leave a message. -Oh, voicemail.
Hey, Lily. Sorry, I got up late.
So, I couldn't wish you best of luck.
So, good luck.
And hold both the balls carefully.
Bye.
No one likes playing with dirty footballs.
So, how can we keep our balls clean
so that others love playing with them?
I'll tell you.
Finally, a product
that can clean your balls.
Mr. Safai's new ball cleaner.
Wow!
Why don't we start with these golf balls first?
-My chicks-ray -"Tick-Tock"
I just love golf balls.
Wow! Amazing!
Is there anyone else here
who wants his balls cleaned?
Me! Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me!
You're quite desperate to get your balls cleaned.
Shekhar, you don't get it.
She's different from other girls.
Different? How?
My chicks-ray isn't working on her.
Mr. Safai's Balls cleaner.
Playing with clean balls is a lot more fun.
It's a cut.
Let's take some product shots.
Call the hand model.
-See you. Bye. -Bye. Get the camera here.
Move fatso.
Excuse me.
Aditya. Superb.
What an idea for the campaign. Outstanding.
I'll be right back Mr. Asshole. Please handle the campaign.
Aditya, when you call me Mr. Asshole,
I don't like it at all.
You're my boss.
Your name's D. Wala.
What else can I call you?
Call me by my real name. Dil.
-Dil? -Dil Boner.
My full name is Dil Boner.
But my surname was Boner
and people would tease me.
So I took the "Boner" out and kept the 'Dil'.
-Now I am just Dilwala. -Very different.
-Sir, I am a bit busy. -That reminds me, Aditya.
We have a new client, and they are rich.
They're coming to the office tomorrow morning
and where's Sunny?
Sir, he's outside drinking sugarcane juice.
Sunny's always drinking sugarcane juice.
All the time.
Anyway tomorrow, you and Sunny, at the office.
-On time. Yes? -Yes.
-Yes! -Yes, Dil.
Yeah!
I swear on my pony what a set.
What a cute kid.
-Just like his mother. -Thank you.
Besides, his father ran off after he was born.
Which fool wouldn't want to father your kids?
"O Baby"
I wish I was 40 years younger.
I wish I was alive.
-Mummy! -My kid.
My chicks-ray.
Bring my kid down.
Bloody pervert, you threw him upstairs.
-Get me down. -Someone get the kid down.
-Lily. -Hi.
Calm down, I'll get him down.
Hold on. He's coming down.
-Hi. -Hurry up, bring him down.
Come on.
-Careful. Careful. -You shut up.
Are you okay?
-Now lift it up. -Loser.
There was a sexy-lady draped in a sari.
-Did you see her? -Yes.
She's special, I must find her.
For the first time in my life, my chicks-ray didn't work.
-Mine too. -Hey, she'll be my wife.
-Don't say such things. -I am talking about my girl.
For the first time in my life, my chicks-ray didn't work.
Where did they go?
No problem.
We'll find them if we're supposed to.
Maybe this is God's idea or His method to tell us.
"Son, before you fall hook, line and sinker
you can pop some more cherries."
-Hello, friends. -Hello.
Addiction is the most dangerous hobby in the world.
And especially, when it's alcohol.
And in order to save everyone from popping anything bad in their mouth.
I've given this lollypop to everyone.
We got this addiction after our dad's death.
As soon as he passed away
we made our way to the bottles.
But how did he die?
Our father appointed a sexy secretary on the job.
10 days later
he jumped from the 14th floor of his office
and committed suicide.
Why? Why? Why?
Father did everything he could.
He bought a car for the secretary worth two lakh rupees.
And an engagement ring worth one million.
One million?
A home worth 30 million.
And after all that happiness
one day, father asked her,
"Listen, can we have fun?"
And she said yes.
I charge 1000 for one night.
And father committed suicide.
But friends, we haven't touched alcohol for 6 months.
-Very good. -Wow!
But tell us how did you two do it?
"O Baby"
We'll tell you.
-Wine... -Oh, God. Alcohol.
Why did you two bring this poison here?
This is our secret, sir.
The real test is when the bottle's in front of you
and you still control yourself.
And we have complete confidence.
Even though you're holding the bottle
you will still control yourselves.
Even if someone uncorks the bottles
you will still control yourselves.
Someone will pour the alcohol in a glass
yet you will still control yourselves.
Someone will drop two cubes of ice in the glass.
But you will still control yourselves.
No, please, please.
"O Baby"
"I danced too much"
"Please don't touch"
"I danced too much"
"Please don't touch"
"I am tired of shaking a leg all day"
"I don't have the strength To dance anymore"
"The boys say More more more more"
"The boys say dance some more Dance some more"
"The boys say More more more more"
"The boys say dance some more Dance some more"
"The boys say More more more more"
"The boys say dance some more Dance some more"
"O Baby"
"They are high on fun"
"And are starting to get shameless"
"Plug my pin in your socket"
"Charge my heart day and night"
"Plug my pin in your socket"
"Charge my heart day and night"
"No matter how much I ignore it"
"The boys say More more more more"
"The boys say dance some more Dance some more"
"The boys say More more more more"
"The boys say dance some more Dance some more"
"O Baby"
"Whether in a flat or a shed"
"All they want to do is have fun"
"We're going to climb up"
"Because we are men super"
"We're going to honk the horns"
"And you ride our scooters"
"We're going to climb up"
"Because we are men super"
"We're going to honk the horns"
"And you ride our scooters"
"I am bored of these talks"
"The boys say more"
"The boys say dance some more Dance some more"
"The boys say More more more more"
"The boys say dance some more Dance some more"
"The boys say More more more more"
"The boys say dance some more Dance some more"
"The boys say More more more more"
"The boys say dance some more Dance some more"
"O Baby"
Welcome. Welcome.
-Ram-Ram. -Leela-Leela.
-Leela? -Leela?
Not Leela, wet.
Maybe your seat's wet. I guess it was wet before.
Don't worry. Don't worry.
This is Sunny, and that's Aditya.
Our company's star ad-film makers.
-Thank you, thank you. -Show them your product.
And they will make an ad film
that will make you go crazy.
-Should I, papa? -Show it.
Take it out.
Take it out already.
"Goti" is a soda bottle.
"Gol Goti" soda bottle.
It's quite popular in a few selected states of India.
I see.
And we want to launch it in the entire country.
-Wow. -Because when the marble moves
the soda fizzes.
Well said, sir?
-Papa. -It's true.
The marbles must move.
When the marbles move with passion
that's when you say "Aah!" with pleasure.
-Right? -Yes.
Don't worry.
We'll make an ad for your marbles
that will make the world stand up.
-What? -Clap! Clap!
Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
All over Maharashtra people will say.
Forget soda and get me the Goti.
So, sir whether big or small
everyone will taste your marbles.
-Papa. -Great.
Now we hand over our marbles to you.
Hoping that you will take care of our marbles
like they are your own marbles.
Sir, your marbles are my marbles.
All yours. All yours.
Done. Done.
-Ram-Ram. -Leela. Leela.
Papa doesn't have it.
But he does have marbles.
When you don't have a mouth
you do it with your hands.
Forget her and wear these Lawman jeans.
Bro, it's a patented product.
Boss it's got emboss.
Let's go find some new sex-addict group.
I am feeling really guilty.
I really feel, deep down in my heart
that I cheated on my girl.
I was so drunk
I really thought my girl's lying on the bed
and calling out to me.
What are you saying?
You know what? I felt the same.
This means that neither of us cheated.
Because our body, may have been with someone else
but our heart thought that we're with our girls.
Right?
Silly.
After hitting on so many sex-addicts
you've become a sex-addict yourself.
History stands witness.
If you keep your banana unused too long
it starts to rot.
Now wear these Lawman jeans and be the man.
Be the star and let's go find our prey.
Seema Lele Sex addicts’ organization.
What a boring place.
Yeah we'll get nothing here.
Yeah, let's go.
-Hey, Lily. -Hi.
I know.
Are you seeing what I am seeing?
Yeah, double role.
So.
Someone said it right
Double the fun.
-One's Sita. -So nice.
And the other's Gita.
Yes, mine's Sita and yours is Gita.
Okay, okay.
But what are they doing here?
Are these two sex-addicts?
If they mistake us for real sex-addicts
then they will never love us.
A thief can never point fingers at another thief.
If we're sex-addicts in their view
then so are they.
-Let's go. -Yes, let's go watch.
Hi, everyone.
I am Laila Lele.
And this is my twin sister Lily Lele.
Together we run this sex-addicts group.
We're in trouble.
They're not thieves, they're the jailors.
Well friends, our mother
Seema Lele.
Was a sex-addict herself.
Yummy Mummy!
Yummy Yummy Mummy!
Our father was a character actor in Hindi movies.
Ninety percent of his roles were of an army man.
And he went so crazy playing his roles
that whenever there was a real war
he would wear his army costume
and for months stand at the border.
Baba wanted the army and mama wanted fun.
Father always said,
"I will never let the enemies
penetrate the borders and get inside."
But someone would penetrate
her borders every day and get inside.
Friends, I've thought of a new experiment.
To test whether you're still sex-addicts or not.
If the coin moves, you fail.
I hope you fail.
"She'll take your heart"
"She'll take your life"
"She'll take your sincerity too"
"Laila's going to"
"Laila's going to sweep you away"
"She'll take your heart"
"She'll take your life"
"She'll take your heart"
"She'll take your life"
"She'll take your sincerity too"
"Laila's going to sweep you away"
Ew!
Very good.
-Aditya. -Aditya!
-Aditya. -Very good, Aditya.
Seeing your self-control,
I am so happy.
Good boy.
-Look a shooting star. -Wow!
They say, if you make a wish to a shooting star
it comes true.
-My favorite Gol Goti Soda. -Wow!
Why don't you ask for something too?
Gol Goti Soda.
Gives you big fun.
I've never seen anything so lowly and humiliating.
Me neither.
Will parents ever let their daughter drink our soda
after watching this ad?
We trusted you two
and handed over our marbles to you.
And you committed foul play with our marbles.
No, no, sir. We didn't commit any foul play with your marbles.
I swear on my pony.
-Give us another chance. -No, no.
We'll make a clean and family-oriented ad for you.
As long as these two are working for you
we won't give you our marbles.
We won't.
I swear on my pony.
For the sake of your marbles.
I will fire these two from the company.
Bloody two-faced, low-life
were you born out of a test-tube?
After playing marbles in your childhood
didn't you ever play banana games behind closed doors.
-Shut up. Don't get personal. -Shut up.
And you
Bloody Polar Bear's twin marbles.
You wanted marbles, didn't you?
Take this and this, and this.
Security.
-Get out! -Now wait and watch.
We'll start our own ad agency.
And we'll make ads
that will make you hold your marbles and your pony.
-Get out! -Shut up and listen.
We're going straight to the bank from here, okay.
Tomorrow we'll have a loan
and you will be alone.
Out!
Throw them out of the gate.
We'll have it today.
Loan.
I swear on the pony.
"Ooh Aah Ooh Aah Ouch!"
"Come on my couch"
"Ooh Aah Ooh Aah Ouch!"
"The wannabe"
"I like that"
-Good morning, ma'am. -Not just houseful, she's blouseful.
-Hello, sir. -We have an appointment
with the assistant manager.
For a loan.
Quack.
It's the one from the lift.
Quack.
Please come in.
Quack.
Hi. Titli Boobna.
Nice to meet you guys.
Wow.
Would you like something?
We sure will, if you give it.
My job is to give.
After all, I am the Associate Manager of Sab Dyena Bank.
-Oh! -Oh!
We have just one motto.
Whether its day or night, just keep giving.
-Yes, Ms. Titli. -Please, Ms. Titli is too old-fashioned.
-Just call me Titli. -Titli.
Okay.
Okay, Titli.
We need your help with opening something.
What would you like to open?
Our very own ad agency.
You see, the place we worked before
we used to make the breast--
I mean the best ads.
Exciting. I like you guys.
Now I'll happily give it to you two.
Loan!
Of course. Of course.
I asked for fries along with my burger.
Where are they?
Hold on.
The shadow in the--
The sun's rays...
-I'm so silly. -We're very smart.
When you smell good you look good.
-What? -See well Opticians.
So that your eyes make no mistakes.
"Players"
Thank you.
-Thank you. Thank you. -Congratulations.
-Yeah! -Cheers!
Friends, for a few days
we're going out of India for a sex-addiction seminar.
And we'll take two helpers along.
And these two helpers will be selected through a lucky draw.
Aditya Chotiya.
And Sunny Kele.
-Yes! -Yes!
-Eat it. -Clap.
"Players"
Let's see whose names were on the list?
Sunny Kele.
Aditya Chotiya.
Sunny Kele.
"By raising your skirt"
"You've turned my heart into dynamite"
"Dynamite"
"By raising your skirt"
"You've turned my heart into dynamite"
"I've fallen in love overnight"
"Overnight"
"I dream every night"
"And they tickle me"
"It's the magic of your love"
"That every inch of my body's romantic"
"Rom-rom-romantic"
"Rom-rom-rom"
"Rom-rom-romantic"
"Every inch of my body's romantic"
"Rom-rom-romantic"
"Rom-rom-rom"
"Rom-rom-romantic"
"It's bigger"
"And better too"
"You should try it once"
"It's bigger"
"And better too"
"You should try it once"
"I am talking about my heart"
"Your mind's really dirty, my love"
"It's 12 centimeters in size"
"Touch it a little, it is very nice"
"My boat is like the Titanic"
"That every inch of my body's romantic"
"Rom-rom-romantic"
"Rom-rom-rom"
"Every inch of my body's romantic"
"That every inch of my body's romantic"
"Rom-rom-romantic"
"Rom-rom-rom"
"Every inch of my body's romantic"
"From the front"
"And from the back"
"You're juicy from every angle, my love"
"From the front"
"And from the back"
"You're juicy from every angle, my love"
"My rocket's ready baby"
"Let me take you beyond the stars"
"Every time I see you"
"Even in pitch darkness"
"My candle lights up automatically"
"That every inch of my body's romantic"
"Rom-rom-romantic"
"Rom-rom-rom"
"Every inch of my body's romantic"
"That every inch of my body's romantic"
"Rom-rom-romantic"
"Rom-rom-rom"
"Every inch of my body's romantic"
As long as you don't say
those three magical words.
I won't do anything.
What do you want to hear?
Those three magical words.
You know, Laila.
I never thought I would say those three magical words
-to any girl. -Yes, say it.
But Laila, I love you.
I love you? I don't believe this, Sunny.
Laila you said you wanted to hear the three magical words.
Yes, Sunny.
Those three magical words are not I love you.
Those three magical words are, "Laila
-gimme -...some."
"Laila gimme some".
For the first time in my life I fell in love.
And with a girl
whose view about love is the same as I had earlier?
She doesn't run this group with Lily for social service.
In fact, she takes advantage of sex-addicts for fun.
She says, "No commitment, only entertainment."
No wedding, only night.
No mangalsutra only Kamasutra.
Okay, everyone.
Ass-- ass-- assemble.
I have an important announcement to make.
Come on, sit.
Let's go. Today, I have some great news.
Today, I want to openly show you
who dwells in my heart.
I guess she's talking about you.
He's not perfect, but he's perfect for me.
Stupid.
This is my fiancé Desh Premi Singh.
There are only three things I love.
Mother India.
And the mother of my future kids.
Why did you say "Mother India" twice?
Because this land is my mother.
And my mom's name is Dharti.
Desh Premi has a childhood dream.
To join the army
and serve the country.
But when he was a kid
he was struck with paralysis.
Why didn't he become a martyr?
What?
Sorry you were saying something.
Please go on.
And since then, he can't stand up.
What can't stand up?
Desh Premi cannot stand up.
I completely trust your love, darling.
I know, once you hold one's... hands.
You never let go. Hand!
Once we get married
then I will automatically stand up.
-You two are getting married? -Yes.
Next week. In Pattaya.
And by the way, you're all invited to the wedding.
It's not compulsory.
You don't have to come if you don't want to.
But if you're coming, then remember.
If anyone tries to hit on my Lily
then first I'll thrash you like a human
then like a hurricane
and finally like Salman Khan.
Because once I make a commitment
I place it on my lap and use it.
-What? -My joystick.
Wheelchair joystick.
Come on baby, let's go.
Yeah!
Bye everyone.
Lily, I am here.
Beautiful sky.
Beautiful sea.
Beautiful donkey?
Ask him the time.
I want to set my watch.
-O man! -Pattaya time.
Hello.
Can you tell me the time please?
It's 10:40 a.m.
When the balls moved, the clock appeared.
Ask him again?
Hello.
Can you tell me the time again please?
What the--
It's 10:40.
-What the F-- -Sir, how can you tell the time
by just touching the donkey's balls?
Oh, when the bell moved, he saw the clock bell.
-Okay, bye. You have a ball. Okay. -Okay.
Look.
The bloody cripple is preparing to tango at his wedding.
What a stick!
So big.
-Wow. -My God.
-How did you do it? -How?
Because honesty and God dwells in my heart.
-Akshay Khanna. -So, he made me a cripple
but he also taught me different ways to do things.
I am ready to be a cripple to learn these things.
I am Ashit.
An actor from the British times.
Lily and Laila's dad.
I am Ashit.
Hello, sir. I am Aditya.
-Hello. -You are a shit.
You are a shit.
Sir, why are you abusing us?
My mother's name is Urmila.
My father's name is Ramgopal.
And my name's Ashit.
Full name Ashit.
U. R. Ashit.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Thank God my mother's name wasn't Ishita.
And father's name wasn't Mohan.
Otherwise instead of U. R. Ashit
my name would've been I. M. Ashit.
Bang! Bang!
Why does he keep saying "Bang" "Bang"?
-I'll tell you. -Tell them Lily.
While playing his army roles
papa has fired so many bullets
that sometimes he talks less
and shoots more from his mouth.
Correct. Correct.
You didn't introduce me to your guests.
Sorry, papa. This is Sunny and that's Aditya.
Hello. Hello.
You know that sex-addic-- a-dick-- group...
that Laila and I run.
These two are members.
-These two have a sex problem. -Yes.
You know that I hate sex, and I hate sex-addicts.
No, no, no.
I would make all the sex-addicts
stand in a line and "bang bang bang."
Shoot them.
No, no, we were sex-addicts.
Not anymore.
Your daughter treated us so well
we stopped having sex.
-We even stopped thinking about it. -Good. Good.
By the way sir, that's a really nice horse.
-What's his name? -Blackie.
-Yes. -Blackie?
But sir, he's white.
Bahadur Shah Zafar once said, "What is in a name?"
Yes, sir. But Shakespeare said that, and not Bahadur Shah.
Exactly. "What is in the name?"
Come, I'll show you the back-- I mean the backside.
-Whose? -Of the hotel, of course.
Welcome. Welcome to the Wedding Hotel.
You were taking us to the backside.
But this is the poolside.
Hello, boys.
-And you are? -I am his shit.
What? You're his shit?
Yes. He's my son, and his name's Das.
So Son Das.
He's always shaking it around.
-What? -His brush.
Many men have these kind of hobbies.
Yes, and men are my hobby.
I love filling up a naked canvas
with my long thick brush strokes.
-Would you like to see mine? -What?
-Canvas! -Of course. Of course.
Naughty boy.
-See... -Beautiful.
A poor fly is stuck in a spider's web.
Woosh! Woosh!
It flew away.
Hi, sister!
"All night long everyone stares at you"
Why did she have to be like her mother?
Seema.
If you want, you can drink this milk too.
It's cold.
It's fresh.
And filled with cream.
So much cream isn't good for my health.
Ouch!
Oh my God.
No one has poked me so hard even on Facebook.
-Once more. -Sorry.
But my bag's handle poked you by mistake.
I wasn't talking about the handle.
I can't handle it anymore.
Now mine's stuck.
"With the winds
and the clouds.
Let's move O Beloved."
-Das. Das. -No, no, no.
Enough of this nok-joke-poke.
Come with me, both of you.
I'll show you to your rooms in the resort.
-Come on, follow me. I said follow me. -Papa.
-He's so hot. -He's so hot.
Same pinch.
After all we both drank the same mother's milk.
-I want him. -I want him.
-He's mine. -He's mine.
It took us an entire day to go from one pool to another.
After all it's a wedding hotel.
Hi!
What a tree! Coconuts.
What are you two doing here?
-You two just disappeared after that day. -Hi, Aditya.
-Do you know these two? -No. No.
-No, no. -Yes, uncle.
I met these two at the alcoholic's rehab.
-No, no, you're mistaken. -Yes.
They're sex-addicts, and not alcohol.
No, no, we were...
-We know that. -What?
After all we took full advantage
of that addiction that night.
Sir, sir. Sir, we can't have any more fun.
Actually sir, we are screwed-- I mean jacked--
-We're tired. -We're sleepy.
-Yes, come on. -Bye.
"Oh Baby"
Laila, what are you doing?
Trying to make you understand
the more you try to be Vishwamitra
the more I'll be Meneka.
If I fail to break your penance
then I'll be a bachelorette for the rest of my life.
Laila just say I love you once.
And then watch all the happiness that I'll give you.
Forget that.
Say, Laila gimme some.
No!
Say it, Sunny.
Laila gimme some.
Sunny, say it.
Laila gimme some.
Sunny, Sunny give it to her.
If you don't then I will.
Not just me, all of Pattaya will give it to her.
But for God’s sake, take your hands off
my room's intercom button.
So that I can peacefully sleep alone in my room.
One.
Desh Premi, march ahead.
We're with you.
Why's that old man and that wheelchair guy
exercising in the middle of the day?
I guess you like bamboos.
But sir, what are you preparing for in the middle of the day?
The Ancestral games of our family.
The Wedding Games.
The Wedding Games? Ooh!
What are these wedding games?
It's a huge competition.
From paintball to tug-of-war.
And now get ready for the war.
Let's go.
Go on.
Pull.
Yeah!
Mother Land, give me strength!
Thank you, God.
No Mama!
-That was fun. -Lily, come here.
Lily, come here!
-Come here. -Coming.
Oh, shit!
We should play something different.
-Like? -Kabaddi.
-You will play kabaddi? -Yeah.
So I that can say, "give me your underwear."
-Leave me. -"Give me your underwear."
Do you want my underwear?
Get lost.
No, no.
-Now it's your turn. Go! -Okay.
Missed.
-Come on. -Come on, buck up.
Come on. Come on.
Come on, Sunny.
I am Ashit.
If the peacock dances in the jungle
who saw it?
No, no, no, no.
Don't shoot, don't shoot.
Oh my God.
Take your gun and make holes in my body.
Color my body.
O beloved shoot me with your water gun.
Let my Sunny go.
You two brother-sister have made my life hell.
-This is all your fault. -What?
You...
You're my sister but Sunny's my bed.
Sorry.
I am Ashit.
No, no, no, no.
I am Ashit.
Oh, God!
That handicap broke my kneecaps.
We should've played hopscotch with him instead.
And that cripple would've beat us in that too.
The worst thing is
he humiliated me in front of Lily.
How will we ever get married now?
Yeah dude.
I have an idea.
Go and tell Lily,
that you intentionally lost to Desh Premi.
So that she doesn't feel bad.
-Nice idea. -Good idea, right?
-I'll go find her. -Yes.
Where's Lily's room?
I am very sorry.
I banged you by mistake.
I want you to keep banging into me.
Leave me. Laila.
Leave me.
It's not Laila, I am your Romeo.
-Das. -Yeah, Das.
Now let's get down with this Das.
How did you get in?
You know I'm an expert at getting in.
I offered something hard to the housekeeping boy.
Hard what?
Hard cash so that I can kiss your lips.
Oh, God!
You know, I have just one problem.
If I don't drink something, it drives me crazy.
-Lipple. -Naughty boy...
I didn't mean that.
You know those milk bottles for kids.
It's got that lipple and milk comes out of it.
You can suck that.
It will fulfil your needs and desires too.
Did you ever suck a lipple?
A lot.
Since I was a kid.
It's really fun.
Then let's do it together.
It will be so much fun.
I know,
go to your room and keep your lipple ready.
I'll be there shortly and do it with you.
Okay, bye.
Look Das, you see, I'm really hurt today.
That's why I brought it along.
-What? -Ointment.
The ointment of my love on your wounds.
Oh, God.
Ouch, let me take it out of my pouch.
These wounds on your handsome body
are like the blemishes on the moon.
Look, Das look.
Someone might come in and see us.
Go to your room.
-Go to your room. -Fine.
I am going.
But promise me you will come.
I will come!
Come...
And if you don't come, I'll make you come.
Okay. I'll come. Go, go, go...
Before I go let me give you a woah-job.
What?
Disgusting.
I mean blowing on your wounds is my job.
See? I can blow myself.
I can blow myself.
Wow! So talented!
Now go, now go. Go on.
-Get well soon. -Go, go, go.
Go!
Landed on my bum.
I'll be waiting.
Room No 69!
Just like the magician's heart
is trapped in the parrot.
Similarly, Ashit's heart
is in his horse Blackie.
And today I'm going to bathe him.
Clean him.
And make him so spotless
that the old man will make me sit on this horse
and make me Lily's groom. Bang!
Zip your pants first, it's been open since this morning.
Sorry it's this bloody pant.
Bravo!
Stand up, Desh Premi! Stand up.
You have to fulfil my dreams.
You have to fight a war for the country.
Papa why are you troubling my body
for his dreams.
So that you can be a man.
Pick up my gun, be a man.
I just want to have fun with a man's gun.
Bang!
Good boy, Blackie.
Good boy, Bla--
He's been smacking my face with his tail.
You should be thankful that he isn't kicking you.
Come on. Please, Sunny. Hold his tail.
-Please. -Fine, I will.
I'll clean his behind.
Blackie.
Your zip's still open. Yuck!
-Then zip it up. -No, no, I won't.
For the sake of our friendship.
Please do it.
That's more like it.
-Oh no the tail's stuck. -What did you do?
-I didn't do it. -You attached it.
I tried to zip it and it got stuck.
Now help me take it out.
-Okay. -Okay.
So exciting.
-And you know. -Ouch!
Someone lift me up.
I will.
-Come out. Come out. -Come on, Blackie.
Let's go.
Blackie's wood.
Horse on the wood.
And with a hammer,
he struck the horse's bum.
My Blackie.
Aren't you ashamed, shameless fellows?
You used my poor Blackie
to satisfy your hunger and lust.
No sir you're mistaken.
Yes sir. You're mistaken.
We only wanted to bathe and clean your Blackie.
But the tail got stuck instead.
Because the zip slipped, sir.
My mind has slipped now.
I will shoot you both with my gun.
It's out! It's out! It's out!
Run! Run! Run!
This means, he only pretends to be a cripple.
Let's go break both his legs.
Not yet.
We'll go back to the resort.
Wait for him to return.
And later, we'll teach him a lesson
in front of the entire family.
Come on. Good idea. Good idea. Come on.
"Players"
-Sunny! -Aditya! Come in.
Bloody cripple, how did you get here before us?
I guess he ran on his two feet
which he was using earlier to walk
on Walking Street.
Rascal.
In front of everyone, you pretend you can't stand
but in reality, Milkha can run.
I've been sitting here for hours, sewing our Tri-color flag.
Shut up, you imposter.
Take this.
Come on. Come on.
Stop crawling on the ground like an insect.
Get up, show us that you can stand.
I can't stand up.
These legs are too strong.
-Give us these legs, Premi. -No.
-Give us these legs, Premi! -No.
Come on my express train.
Show the world that you can walk.
You can run.
Go!
Dogs!
Desh Premi!
What happened? Oh my God.
Why are you beating my poor Desh Premi?
Why are you hurting this poor chap?
Mr. U. R. Ashit this bloody Hot wheels is not helpless.
He only pretends to be a cripple.
He can walk.
They thrashed me a lot.
We saw him on Walking street
shaking a leg with naked girls.
You fools!
The guy you saw walking at Walking Street
wasn't Desh Premi.
It's his twin brother.
-Twin? -Yes, my twin brother.
Desh Drohi.
Today I will 'bang' you both with my double-barrel.
Papa you have to shoot me before you shoot Sunny.
Move aside, Das. Move. Or I will shoot.
-No, papa. -Move I say.
-No, papa. -Move.
It's okay, papa.
Anyone can make this mistake.
-Yes, of course. -They've made many mistakes today.
First Blackie and now Desh Premi.
-I won't spare you. -Papa, please spare my love.
There's nothing left to spare now.
Papa.
-Hello. -What are you doing here?
I wanted to tell you
that we knew we didn't see your Desh Premi on Walking Street.
It was his twin brother.
Then why did you create this commotion?
-Darling. To help Desh Premi stand up. -What?
We thought our punches will awaken
the man inside him.
And your Desh Premi will stand up.
-Aditya, you're so sweet. -I know.
"O baby"
Let's cool off in the pool.
My passionate heart's saying,
"How long am I going to stay lonely and yearning?"
Let me shower my love on you today
and drench you.
Don't worry, Blackie.
Tonight I am going to keep a watch
and no one will be able to hit on you tonight.
If anyone even stares at your bum.
I'll blow him up with this bomb. Bang.
I can do anything for your happiness.
And that's why I have another idea.
-What idea? -Make that Desh Premi burn!
Not actually.
Make him jealous.
Oh. How?
Pretend to love some hot and happening hunk.
First, reduce the size of your clothes like your sister
and seduce someone else.
Smaller than this?
-When he sees you with someone else? -Yes.
Your Desh Premi will automatically stand up.
But... a hot handsome hunk,
where do I find him?
Look around, you'll find him.
There's no one around.
Look again.
He has to be somewhere.
There's no one there.
Then look in front of you.
There's just you.
Then why don't you do it with me?
You don't mean that.
I mean it, I mean it. How else do you want me to say it?
Aditya will you really
pretend to love me for me?
-Lily. -Yes.
I'll be so realistic in this act
that you'll forget that I'm only pretending.
Let's begin.
-What? -The act.
"All night long everyone stares at you"
"Some whistle and some wink at you"
"Some ask me to come to the corner"
"Some call me to their home"
"Some say let's do it here"
"Everyone's crazy about you"
"Now it's my choice What do I give to whom"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"The night's colorful"
"So why are you lagging"
"The candle of love is burning high"
"It's a bit hard"
"And a bit soft"
"The cold nights making me smolder"
"Let me bathe you in this moonlight"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"All night long everyone stares at you"
"Some whistle and some wink at you"
"Some ask me to come to the corner"
"Some call me to their home"
"Some say let's do it here"
"Everyone's crazy about you"
"Now it's my choice What do I give to whom"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
Last night it felt like
Lily's burning up inside for me.
But with me the fire is burning on two fronts.
Basanti wants to steer my cart
as well as Gabbar's Sambha.
Stop laughing.
That Das has been giving me scary nightmares.
Like I'm a fly stuck in his spider-web.
No! No! No!
Das. No.
No.
Now you're stuck.
Smell this.
Now listen to my problem.
Whenever Lily comes close to me
her father gets upset.
Now I must convince the father, along with his daughter.
Impossible. How do I do it?
We must think of something.
Anyway, go take a bath.
-I'll go get a towel. -Go on, hurry up.
Careful Mr. Kele.
Because coming your way is Laila Lele.
You haven't taken a bath yet.
No, I was taking a dump
Tell me how do I convince that old man?
Give him a gift.
Like an expensive perfume. Or body lotion.
Like the one I use it's really nice.
Yuck mine's better.
No, no, look at mine. Mine's better.
Why is yours better than me?
Look mine's bigger!
They're going to blow you away with their cannon, sir.
-No! No! No! -Yes, sir.
You don't get it.
When we give it to the old man
he should feel good.
Shameless. Give it to me?
And when he squeezes it out
and applies it all over his body...
Shameless I'll apply it on my body.
He should feel completely refreshed.
-Oh! -And that's why mine's better.
-Disgusting. You're disgusting. -Okay, fine.
-Tonight we'll give the old man yours. -Yes.
Tonight!
They don't want your daughter...
they want you.
Oh, God!
Disgusting people. Let's go.
Boys.
Oh my.
Honey!
-Hi. -Hi.
I am Adam.
The weather's so awesome, right.
Meet my friend Steve.
Hi.
Listen, I want you to meet my friend Jeev.
Hi.
I want you to meet my friend Rajeev.
Hi, hi, Love. Hi.
And I am their Sanjeev.
No!
Now there's only one way left.
In order to make Sunny mine
I'll have to do what I never did before.
My, God!
"O my sweet beloved"
"I've decked up for you"
"Only for you"
"I've changed myself only for you"
"Now listen to my heartbeats"
"Every corner of my heart"
"This Laila belongs only to Sunny"
-Is that me? -Yes.
He's shaking it too. His head.
Listen there's something I want to say to you
from the bottom of my heart, with faith and sanctity.
-Those three beautiful words. -Yes?
I love you.
I love you too.
Let go, dear.
What nonsense.
My heart's broken but not my bangles.
Yuck, mummy.
Lily, I too from my body--
Sorry. I mean from my honest heart
and from every corner of Hrithik.
With Shraddha, Deepika, Katrina, I mean all of them...
I...
Lily darling.
Lily dear good news. Good news.
Desh Premi, give them the good news.
I just received my doctor's report.
Remember you bent down, aimed
and punched me in a special place.
Yeah.
Thanks to those punches, all my nerves are unblocked again.
-Huh? -Yes.
Now the blood is circulating in the right place.
-No, no, I am still a cripple. -Good.
But below the knee.
All the parts above my knee
are functioning perfectly.
No!
Yes.
This means tomorrow at my wedding night
I can easily fulfill the responsibilities of a husband.
-Thanks to you. -Bang!
-Lily, shall we? -Come, come, come.
Come on. Lily.
Lily, I will definitely drink almond milk on our wedding night.
I definitely will.
How can punches unblock the nerves?
I know Lily loves me.
So, why is she marrying Desh Premi?
Because she doesn't want to be unjust to Desh Premi
like our libidinous mother did to our father.
What's that?
Sex-addict, honey.
When you speak in Hindi, baby
"O Baby"
...you look like a doll.
Baby doll.
Meaning, child doll.
Will you stop your love games and help me out
or keep eating that banana?
Idea.
There's only man who can help us.
Remember our super-cool friend
with whom we used to have grand fun.
More-Gasm Ashram
Aur-Gasm hermitage.
Wasn't this supposed to be Deep's Night Club?
One Night Stand.
-Where did this hermitage come from? -How do I know?
The Master of all Masters.
Baba Gasm is arriving.
Hail Baba Gasm!
-Hail Baba Gasm! -"Players"
Hail Baba Gasm!
-"Players" -Hail Baba Gasm!
"Players"
"When it comes to having fun"
"We're a cut above the rest"
Deep what's wrong with you?
You were the original player.
When did you become Baba Gasm?
Without touching their body, I use my mental strength
to give mind-gasm to females.
Hold on. Mind-gasm?
Yes.
What's a mind-gasm?
Guruji, mind fu--
"beeps" his devotees.
Mind-beep.
Silly boys, come, let me demonstrate.
Mind-gasm.
So, what will you come?
It's all Lily's mom Seema's fault.
If she hadn't cheated her father U. R. Ashit
then she wouldn't be marrying Desh Premi.
U. R. Ashit?
"Yummy mummy"
"Yummy mummy Yummy yummy mummy"
What are you doing here? You are...
I seek refuge in Baba's company.
For years he's been mind-beeping me.
Seema, Seema...
It's time that you go meet your daughters.
I wish I could've helped you some more.
But unfortunately, my special appearance ends here.
So, why don't you guys just, beep off.
Exactly.
And yes, as soon as you get to the altar don't forget to shout,
"Stop. This marriage cannot happen."
This marriage cannot happen.
Cannot happen.
-Seema! -Mom.
-Mother. -Mother-in-law's here.
Mom!
"Players"
What are you doing here?
It's all thanks to Sunny and Aditya who found me.
I should've shot you both on day one. Bang!
A husband's duty is to please his wife.
-Huh! -And you never gave me some "beep".
And that's why every man here
has seen my bedroom ceiling.
Tell me which of you were my lovers? Tell me.
Bloody priest.
"Yummy mummy"
"Yummy yummy mummy"
Do you want your lovers
to raise their hands at your daughter's wedding?
-No! -Run away, dear. Run away.
-No! -No!
Laila.
You dog!
Let's go. Let's go, let's go.
Quickly. Quickly.
Stop.
You dog.
-Rascal. -Get out.
Hurry up.
Please stop.
Sunny, I love you.
Shut up, Das.
Stop!
Please go!
Why are you walking in slow-motion?
Move out or pass out.
-Come on, fast. -Hurry up. Hurry up.
Come on move.
-Selfie? -Selfie!
Selfie.
A selfie at this age?
Why don't you two make out right here?
Mom, selfie.
Smile, mom.
-What's going on here? -Someone get them out.
-Why don't you hold it and get off? -What did you say?
I mean get down and catch them.
-Oh yeah. -Oh yes, I didn't think about that.
Why you...
Stop. Stop.
Rascal, out to dirty my Laila.
-Desh Premi, Aditya's my true P-- -Parrot.
-P-- -Paresh Rawal.
No, my true love.
Papa. Papa.
-Aditya! -No!
Leave me. For God's sake leave me.
Leave me or else I will kill all of you.
If you kill me, you'll become a widower.
-Yes. -And everyone will say,
"Look there goes Ashit widower."
Ashit widower. Ashit widower.
Ashit widower.
My gun. My gun.
Papa's gun is very important to him.
Let's go. Let's go.
Hey.
-Aditya! -Fall down.
I am stuck.
Choo! Choo! Choo!
Choo!
Ch-- Ch-- Choo!
Choo Haa rat glue.
Sticky-sticky gum on brother-in-law's bum.
-Now he's stuck. -Shut up.
My gun.
-No. -Leave me.
Lily.
Unhand me.
My gun.
Hey, let go. Move your hand.
Hey, what are you doing?
My moustache is stuck.
Ouch!
My moustache.
You ruined my moustache, you dog.
Lily.
Oh don't look here.
No.
We're all dead.
Now we're dead. Danger.
It's like after sticking and picking
comes dicing and slicing.
It's like after tag comes being cut to pieces.
-Or after girl on girl, comes girl on boy. -Shut up!
Can't you guys rhyme with the time.
Look there, think of an idea.
Otherwise our carrots will get diced.
Mother-in-law, think of an idea.
Son, how can I think of an idea?
Only thing I'm good at is taking off my clothes.
Oh, yes that's it.
-Take your clothes off. -He's right!
If we strip off our clothes
we can make a rope, lasso the lever
and stop the machine.
-Yes. -Shameless.
Even when we're dying
you want my family to strip their clothes.
Sir, looking at this problem
we have to strip, please.
Honey, how can I take off my blouse?
What's the point of a blouse that can't save his spouse?
Give it. Give it.
Hurry.
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
-"Or should I show you the picture" -Hurry up. Hurry.
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
Hurry up! Hurry!
Finally.
Leave him.
Sir, if you still think, we're not worthy of them
then we'll leave.
Empty-handed.
But before we go,
how did you get your moustache back, Desh Premi?
-Oh! -Oh!
Let me go, Premi.
I cannot live without Aditya.
Let me go, father.
I cannot live without Sunny.
Go Lily, go.
No one can love you more than this boy.
Go.
Go Lily, go.
She's gone. Bang.
-What are you saying? -Yeah.
In this lifetime, he's yours.
But for the next six lifetimes, Sunny's only mine.
What a disgusting kid?
-He's yours after all. -Bang.
Bang.
Suck this lipple.
It's been years since I last saw it.
If the coin moves you pass.
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
"Sweetheart, would you like To see the trailer"
"Or should I show you the picture"
Now mine has trickled.
"Come on everybody"
Scene 47, Take one. Best of luck.
"My heart's a scoundrel"
"It says meet me in a locked room"
"Fulfill my dreams"
"My heart's a scoundrel"
"It says meet me in a locked room"
"Fulfill my dreams"
"I'm here, where are you going?"
"I'll satisfy you Only I know"
"What I forgot in the morning I got that in the evening"
Small balls are the...
Oh shit!
Should I start? Shit. Shit.
"Oo-aa, oo-aa, ouch"
"Come on my couch"
"Oo-aa, oo-aa, ouch"
Oh, sorry, sorry!
"Oo-aa, oo-aa, ouch"
"Cool your body in this hot season"
"It might get rusted and dusted Use the tool of your heart"
"In the wet nights"
"What I haven't seen Show it to me"
"Awake, whatever's asleep"
"What I forgot in the morning I got that in the evening"
When your mind and soul combine together as one.
One more.
"Come on my couch"
"Oo-aa, oo-aa, ouch"
I forgot... Sorry, the banana is too...
...our libidinous, sorry!
Help us! Save us!
"It says meet me in a locked room"
"Fulfill my dreams"
I'm here, where are you going?
Never listen to an old woman. Bitch!
What I forgot in the morning I got that in the evening
Diet poke.
"Oo-aa, oo-aa, ouch"
While this wheelchair... Look look... Sorry, sorry!
"Oo-aa, oo-aa, ouch"
Don't worry, I won't give you the chance to complain.
"Come on my couch"
"Oo-aa, oo-aa, ouch"
-Yeah! -Cut it!