Afreen, I'm sorry. Forgive me now.
Do you know what Naem Bhai said?
He told me to watch out, you could be having an affair.
What affair?
How would I know? You tell me.
Are you going to listen to Naem Bhai now?
He's the one with many affairs. He should shut up.
If the husband doesn't take calls at 10 pm
people get suspicious, okay?
Afreen, I was in a meeting at the office.
Was the office locked? Couldn't anyone take calls?
Listen to me. Call Praveen.
Ask him. I was with him.
I don't trust anyone.
Afreen, forget about all that.
You know how much I love you, right?
Arif, these days it feels like you're never around.
And even if you are around, you're never with me.
Are you insane?
-I will always be with you. -Don't change the topic.
I am not changing the topic.
You are making too much of this.
I am trying to convince you since so long.
Okay, I promise.
I will always take your calls, from now on.
Sorry. Forgive me.
Don't say sorry to me. Say sorry to dad.
I will go and say sorry to dad too.
But I also got you a gift last night.
What is it?
Is it? You're interested after hearing about the gift!
Okay, come on.
-Shah Rukh's film? -Yes!
Even the songs of the film haven't released yet.
How did you get it?
I have already watched the film.
You watched it alone?
I was working on this last night.
Don't tell me the story, okay?
Come here. Forgive me, first.
Or I will tell you how the leading lady dies.
The leading lady dies?
-Then, the hero... -No! Shush! Don't say any more.
Be quiet. Let me watch it.
-Forgive me, first. -I forgive you! Just go.
Where is my phone? I can't find it.
Check on the table. It must be there.
Afreen, there are 8 tables in the house.
-Check the side table! -There are 6 side tables.
Come on! The side table next to the small table.
Found it.
This is crystal clear!
The one who gave it said so too.
This copy was supposed to go directly to the censor board.
You should get all the movies from this vendor. It's an amazing print!
We will get the movie really soon!
You can set up the business again.
Then, you will have time for me again.
Right?
Praveen.
We have to put those tapes back in Mahesh Kumar's office.
Sir, I added the scene before the song as you told me to.
Sir, he writes the way he is told to, now.
Simple logic. Use your intelligence where it is needed.
Don't use it where it's not needed, buddy.
You've got the CD playing.
Watch it and write. Yes!
Enjoy yourself with the dialogues.
Write interesting dialogues. You know?
Hi, sir. May I come in?
Go.
Yes, Ayesha.
Come, come, come.
Sit.
Did you hear the script? How do you like it?
It's amazing.
So many emotions! I really enjoyed the narration.
-But uncle, actually... -What?
No uncle. Listen, you're going to become a leading lady now.
Be professional.
Kumar Sahab,
some of the scenes seemed a bit too bold and revealing to me.
There's action too.
Yeah, I know, sir. I am excited about that, but...
It's the sex scenes, actually.
You know, Ayesha, I am surprised.
You liked the violence and the action.
Sex? Let's not call it sex.
Let's call it intimacy.
This emotion has always existed between men and women.
It will stay around for centuries.
Does that make you uncomfortable?
Sir, it feels a bit awkward on camera.
The real artist
doesn't distinguish between real and reel life.
Feel the performance.
Understood?
Okay.
In this day and age,
there is no greater feminist film-maker than me.
But Ayesha, my dear...
You have to take a big leap at the start of your career.
You have to take the risk.
You're a burning star.
It will not only shine, it will burn too.
You're uncomfortable.
You can go. We will cast someone else.
-You can do a character role or cameo. -No, sir.
I am ready now.
I will do it.
That's like a true artist.
A true star.
Listen to me.
What you are going to do is nothing new.
It's always been there.
Now, you're in the Kumar camp.
Nobody can stop your success.
You're a burning star that needs to shine.
Gaitonde's
-500 CDs. -"Satyam, shivam, sun..."
Raees' 300 CDs.
Hey, this is the slide that appears at the start of the movie, right?
It's a censor certificate.
Who issues that certificate?
-The Censor Board. -What's that now?
You're in the business and don't know the Censor Board?
All I know about is selling the goods, okay?
Who will go into the details of every business?
The Censor Board is a kind of hang out spot.
The government decides who will watch what.
Who won't watch something. If there is abuse, they cut it out.
If there is kissing and petting, the kids can't watch it.
But, we are a democracy, okay?
We are free to watch whatever we want.
-We will talk about this later. -What now?
I told you.
When one hole closes, find another.
The censor board. Our next hole.
So you mean, we will use this hole
to get back into the homes of the people, right?
Yes.
Darn! They even have a constable sitting out here.
Hey, brother. Where do you want to go?
Who do you want to meet?
Brother, actually...
There are three names written on the Censor Certificate, right?
-I wish to meet them. -They don't sit here.
Who should I give my movie to?
Go and ask at the enquiry desk.
But, there's a constable sitting there.
Obviously, he's sitting down. He won't stand up for you.
Ask during lunch time.
These folks don't eat breakfast on time, before they come.
They eat it after they arrive, at lunch time.
Listen, brother, I have come a long way.
I got the money together with difficulty to make a movie.
Do something about it.
-You made it? -Why?
-Can't we folks make movies? -Brother!
It's not child's play to make a movie.
If it were easy, I wouldn't be sitting here, working as a peon.
I would also make movies.
'If wishes were horses, beggars would fly.' [in Gujarati]
You can try all you want, but some things just aren't meant for you.
I understand.
-A highway was built through our village. -I see.
I hit the jackpot.
I sold my grandpa's land and made a film.
-But no theatre owner will show the film. -So then?
They say, bring the censor certificate.
So what should I do?
There must be someone around here.
Tell me something about how this system works.
Mr. Prithvi will watch it first.
Then, all the members on the panel.
Finally Mr. Sadanand will watch it.
Who is Mr. Sadanand?
-He's the guy who issues the certificate. -I see.
So, when does the producer get the cassette back?
The producer doesn't get the tapes until the release.
These darn producers and directors are scamsters.
After they get the certificate
they insert a BP scene into the middle of it.
-What's a BP? -A blue film.
Who keeps the tapes?
Mr. Prithvi.
Mr. Prithvi, Mr. Sadanand.
Thank you, brother.
Some day, you will be a major producer.
-For sure. -Thank you. Hey!
-How about some more of that? -Yes? Sure.
-Okay? -Yes.
-Producer! -Yes.
Where were you? You're an hour late.
I have been waiting for so long.
You know what happened today?
The water supply was 6 hours late today.
All over the place.
There was such a major water problem!
Nobody told us the water supply would be delayed.
I had to do all the chores. I managed to finish it all, somehow.
I had to cook, which was also delayed.
Listen, when will you eat?
Now? Or later?
-I will eat later. -Okay, fine.
You can eat it later.
Okay, at least I've finished this job of mine.
Okay, do you remember Shanta?
She got married a year ago.
I believe she has divorced her husband, now.
Imagine that! She got married a year ago and has already asked for a divorce!
What kind of lives do people live here?
Sanju, do you remember uncle Sudarshan?
I kept thinking about Sudarshanji all day.
He was a very nice person.
The man who passed away three years ago.
Remember, he was a great friend of your dad's?
I also met him four years ago.
But, I had no idea he would die.
You know, our maid told me that her uncle...
Mom!
Mom! Mom!
Mom, wake up! Mom!
It is very common, Sanjay.
There is no motive for living at this age.
Those whom she knew
are either living in your village
or her peers have passed away.
That's why when you come back home from work
she lets you have it.
Today, she got over excited and fainted.
Doctor, because of my duty, I mostly have to
stay out of the house.
Why don't you get a TV for the house?
-A TV? -Yes.
Doctors forbid it for kids.
But, TV is the best option for the elderly as company.
At least they get a chance
to see the outside world and quell their loneliness, Sanjay.
-Yeah. -Don't worry and take care.
I need to meet Bhai. Bhai.
Let him come in.
-Why did you come? -Bhai, I...
Is something in your mouth?
Bhai, our boys aren't giving me the material any more.
So what?
I thought you must be upset.
So I came to say sorry.
What for?
What Arif did the other day...
Sit.
-Want to eat? -I've eaten already.
-Eat a Gulabjamun. -No, Bhai.
Eat it, you ***! ***! ***!
***!
Your brother-in-law slapped you the other day
but it landed on my *** cheek.
Forgive him, Bhai. It won't happen again.
No, I won't allow it to happen the next time.
You will stand guarantee for that.
-Ask me how. -How?
Just like he got to me
I will get to him.
Through you.
You are his brother-in-law, right?
Darn it, play the family card.
I want information about what he does at every moment
right here at my table.
But Bhai, Arif doesn't trust me.
Darn it, ***, make him trust you!
***, weren't you gagging to be my partner?
Yes.
***, I am taking you on as a partner! Okay?
Hey! Tell the boys to give him the goods.
Celebrate with a sweet.
We are partners now.
Yes, Om.
-Put on Daya's show. -Yes.
What?
-Hello? -I am so sorry, Sanjay.
I know I am calling you last minute.
But I didn't even have the time to pack my bags.
I have to urgently leave to Kashmir.
Some militants have killed about 19.
-All of them are darn ***. -I know.
Ever since the nuclear test in Pokhran
this nonsense has begun.
Yes.
Okay, when am I seeing you next?
Every day.
Turn on the TV. You'll see me.
-Hey, by the way, has the TV come? -Yeah, of course.
Mom is busy watching that all the time.
You'll see, the dementia and so on will fly out of the window.
I really hope so, Rags.
She was really lonely.
Sometimes when I look at her I feel scared,
I may end up the same way.
-It's the same genetics. -Can you do me a favour?
Watch a couple of pirated movies. You will also forget everything.
I can't.
A good officer shut down that business too.
Actually, no.
-What? -That's what I called to say.
Three new pirated movies have been released
and no trace of the culprit.
I think someone made a back door entry.
Arif, I know how to play the game.
All the movies which are released
get a certificate
and then the producers don't ask for any account of it.
But how early do those films come?
Some come a couple of months earlier.
Some come a few weeks before.
The point is, we can get movies much earlier
than we are getting them presently.
But that's only if these two censor guys, Prithvi and Sadanand sell out.
Call them out to eat, then.
We will offer them a fancy cake and buy their loyalty.
-Call them. -Okay.
-We should meet them at least once. -I will fix it up.
Tell me, what can we do for you?
Eat something more.
Percy Bhai! Bring some of that cake.
-The soft kind. -Hey!
-Serve the soft cake. -They fatten the goat
before sacrificing it.
We know about all these ploys.
Let's get to the point. What do you want from us?
You guys are pretty sharp.
It's not about being smart. It's something we do daily.
So no formalities.
We have a package that goes for Rs. 25,000.
Yes, after that
you can add anything you want to the movie, or not.
It makes no difference.
By the way, how long is your film?
Our film?
Yes, I mean, anything goes apart from blue films.
You'll get the certificate. Fixed rate, Rs. 25,000.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Go on.
Bhai. There are people here.
Prithvi bhai. Sadanand bhai.
If someone likes to speak frankly
I will be equally frank with them.
Your rates are very low.
Sell quilts in winter, ACs in summer
and your integrity when you have to
at a higher price.
Our business is hot all year around.
That's why I told you Rs. 25,000 is too low.
I can give you Rs. 50,000.
-Per person. -That's a lot of money.
What must we do? Is it a blue film?
I don't do that filthy stuff.
We run a company.
I need a supplier for it.
-I don't understand. -Let me explain, big brother.
We help to send movies to every house.
-Tell us everything. -We put films on DVDs
and send them to every house.
I see, it's a DVD company.
Something like that.
It's not like that, Prithvi bhai.
These guys are into piracy.
Sadanand bhai! This is why you are where you are.
Listen, we thought you are producer types
who want to get certification for your movie.
We can't do any of this.
I am a producer for sure.
I am a distributor too.
But only for the first copy.
You get me the original film.
I will give you four times the money.
Let's do one thing.
Come on, with all these sins
I have increased the money by one percent.
Every time we get the delivery,
you get paid.
You get paid by the number of films.
This is
for me.
He will accept the same charges.
You will get paid by evening too.
Bhai, where's the cake?
Give Prithvi bhai some cake.
Prithvi bhai, this is the most unique cake in the universe.
Really?
'We got the keys to the treasure, '
'before we found the treasure.'
'The boys who were creating the first copy in the past'
'were about to create history now.'
'Films were submitted to the censor board so it could be decided'
'who would watch the film.'
'Yes.'
'And the films came to us directly via the censor board tunnel.'
'Now, we would decide'
'not who would see the film'
'but that everyone would see them.'
'We received the first copy when'
'the release was approaching.'
'But it's not like that now.'
'We get the copy weeks in advance.'
'And it's absolutely top quality.'