What is piracy?
Before we understand what piracy is, let's first understand what entertainment means.
Entertainment is a weapon strong enough to change powerful forces.
And today, I'm the biggest king of that entertainment.
Who can make anyone dance on his fingertips.
But, it wasn't always like this.
Before we start the story, let's rewind a little.
Not too far, just 10 years back.
Back when people found Rs.2 tea pricey
but Rs.52 cassettes were a steal.
"If only we could
never wake up."
Arif! Run!
Arif! Wait! Wait!
Wait, wait.
Get him! Grab him.
Hey! Wait.
Stop! Stop!
Stop it. Wait.
Hey, get him!
Hey, Mumbai Police.
-Where can you go now? -Let's go.
Let's go.
Move it.
What's up, bro? What did you steal?
-Kumar and Sonu. -Move it! Let's go.
A person's life is kind of like a seekh kebab.
You don't really get it until the skewer goes right through.
But once you get the game,
that's when the real fun begins. This goes out to all my special folks
who made me feel special here.
Otherwise, you know, as soon as you get into prison
the sweet faced boys are grabbed at once.
And now the other kind.
For those **** who'd snatch a morsel from your lips.
Eating this
would make a stallion from Nagpada end up **** himself
all the way to Madanpura.
Some get jealous by watching,
while some burn and transform.
I was the second kind
and now, I've changed.
What's up, bootlicker ****?
Will you honour your boss with kebabs again?
I don't allow the kebabs to burn.
-Why is your **** on fire? -What did you say?
You've not eaten this, right?
You've not eaten my signature kebabs, have you?
Eat the kebab and you'll know.
It's awesome. But how will you account
to your boss about this kebab?
It's Friday night.
I will tell him I met a beggar on the way.
****.
Yaseen Bhai.
I'm close to Yaseen Bhai.
Arif, come on in.
-May God be with you, Yaseen Bhai. -May God be with you.
Kebabs.
Nowadays
you're truly valuable to us. Ask, why?
Why don't you tell me?
These guys arrested a film star some days ago.
We used to eat together.
-Yaseen Bhai! -The food was outstanding.
Wonderful.
When the tiffin opened, our prison
used to fill with the aromas
of the Khaoo Galli (foodie's alley).
-I bet it did. -But something went wrong, darn it.
-What happened? -His dad found out.
His dad was a very
idealistic man and his principles
took their toll on the son's stomach.
He actually put out a threat!
Don't you dare give my son any special treatment.
Or you will be put into prison.
He threatened the jailer
-with a prison sentence! -That was it then.
And in the bargain
I lost out on the tasty food.
But you've got Arif's kebabs.
-Satyam. -Yes?
Give him two kebabs too.
I liked a couple of his movies.
Tell him Arif made them.
Wow.
Arif.
You're an amazing cook.
Thank you, Yaseen Bhai.
But that watch on your wrist
-is beyond amazing. -Should I take it off?
No!
It's a little trinket, Yaseen Bhai.
I may ask for your time at some point in life, Yaseen Bhai.
You can trust me on that.
Arif.
The jailer called you.
I'll leave now.
See you.
He's snacking on cashews and almonds in prison.
I am close to the jailer too.
He called me.
-Sir, Arif is here. -Come on.
-Arif. Come on in. -Hello.
I hope you enjoyed your time here.
But, just as all good things end soon, this is over too.
You've got bail.
You are free.
Thank you, sir.
Hey, hey, wait, wait.
What's the hurry?
Spend some time with us too.
At least let us try your kebabs!
Come on Sir, it's not like you don't have enough to eat!
What do you mean?
I mean, if you make a call,
the kebabs will be delivered directly from Mohammed Ali Road.
I understand.
-Do we take bribes? -Just kidding, sir.
If I start kidding, your bail will be cancelled.
Go, feed me some kebabs.
Right away, sir.
Hey skinny! Give me those kebabs.
I will serve them at once, sir.
Arif.
-Yes, sir. -You know what?
You were granted bail this morning.
I told them about pending paperwork and delayed it.
Then I thought about the kebabs you make
are world famous in the prison.
How can I get some?
That's why I made you stay.
You've been here for 4 months.
4 hours more hardly matter.
-Sir. -Yes?
Because of work,
the pain of being away from home is something
only a man understands.
I have been away from home
for 4 months because of work.
But, as I said, it takes a man to understand that.
What did you say to me?
-We aren't men, are we? -No, sir.
Let it go.
The kebabs are okay. But it's Arif's chutney that is much more famous.
I bet you've never tasted chutney like this anywhere else.
You'll never forget it.
Amazing kebabs!
It's tasty. Wow!
Aren't you glad we stopped him from leaving?
If we had let him go, we could have never eaten this.
He won't able to stop now.
What did he say? What was that he said?
Arif! ****!
Hey, move out of the way.
What is going on here?
This place is crowded because of you guys all the time.
Afreen, what are you doing?
See, I cooked biryani for all of you.
Did you cook it in the fridge?
I cooked it in the morning. And I came over to give it,
but nobody was at home.
So, I kept it in the fridge. Take it.
We have been at home since morning. Nobody came over.
And you know
that Arif's dad has stomach issues if he eats food from the fridge.
He won't have stomach issues. I know, since he's my dad also. Take it.
By the way, how do you pay the bills without Arif?
God runs it, appi (sister).
Anyway, I've got the deposit on Arif's shop.
It's enough to run the household.
When Arif comes home, all of you must come to dinner at my place.
Will you serve food from the fridge even then?
Don't talk nonsense!
Okay, my serial will start now. See you.
Who was there, Afreen?
-Farzeen appi. -Okay.
She came over with yesterday's leftover biryani.
I'd happily eat khichdi and die
instead of eating her biryani.
That is so true, dad!
Afreen, I keep telling you to cover the food.
The kheer is useless now.
Throw it away.
-Why should I throw it away, dad? -What then?
Farzeen appi!
-Farzeen appi! -Hey!
You both should chat. I'll be back soon.
Sorry.
I had no idea the coppers would arrest me.
What do you expect if you fool the cops?
-Come on! -Farzeen appi sent some stale biryani.
Wash up and eat it.
I wouldn't mind eating her rotten biryani.
But can't you get out of this rotten mood?
You know what?
I have been fantasizing in prison.
I know all about your fantasies!
Sorry, Afreen!
I had no idea
they are packing prisons with people for music piracy.
Did you miss me?
Stop it, that's a lot of tea leaves.
We don't want amber complexioned babies.
What do you care?
I'll bring them up no matter what they look like.
After all you'll be in prison.
If you keep stressing me out talking this way,
I'll go back where I came from.
You know what happens to me without you.
Do you have any idea?
I have to listen to everyone!
The next time you go to prison,
-you take me with you. -Shh!
Nobody's going anywhere.
The last time? The next time? It's all over, now.
Give me a month.
I promise you, I'll make it all okay.
Your tea will get burned.
What are you doing, Afreen?
You said you fantasized a lot, right?
But at this moment, dad can see us.
If you are so scared of dad
how will you become a dad?
-Yes? -Afreen, I...
-So, they let you go? -No, brother.
We are hosting a feast in prison.
I will be released after a couple of days.
What? If I am so scared of dad, how will I become a dad? Really?
Afreen, let's bring rotis. Hurry up.
What are you doing, Afreen?
Appi, he's my husband.
When you give these men things too easily,
they stop valuing it.
So, you tell him,
if he wants love again
he has to show his love again.
He has to show what he can do.
-Do you hear me? -Listen.
I have Walkmans worth Rs. 100,000 that just got in.
Go and sell it. Sell it daily and make money daily.
Dad, people don't have money to eat.
Who wants to listen to his Walkman?
Arif, the true salesman can sell a comb to a bald guy
and Kohl to the blind man.
-Understood? -Brother.
You ward off the evil eye with Kohl
and use the comb to scratch an itch.
Even I can sell that.
But, why sell a Walkman to a starving man?
Son, Naeem is right.
At the end of the day, family is only there to guide you.
Okay, dad.
-I will go on Friday. -Why on Friday? Why not tomorrow?
The sooner you start the business, the better it will be for you.
Okay.
I'll come over from tomorrow.
Best Walkman for sale.
Walkman, uncle! Hey, uncle.
-Show me that. -Walkman.
How many buttons does it have? Do they work?
Uncle, don't expect a genie to pop out of it.
-Press it gently, uncle. -What is this?
Why did you give it to me if you didn't want to sell it?
Come back, I'm just kidding. Come back here.
Listen, brother. If you keep selling this way, you're doomed.
What am I selling?
The customers come along as if they are loaded.
They don't have a penny in their pocket but
want Kishor Kumar to sing a lullaby in their ear.
Listen, that's the way it is with sales.
The customer doesn't know you're selling him
Sonu pretending to be Sony. What does he know?
Let him press a few buttons, if he wants to!
I guess he's not pressing any buttons at home.
Walkman for sale!
Rs. 500, all original stuff. Walkman for sale.
Walkman. If you're done listening to your wife at home,
girlfriend outside, professor in college
and the people on the train, you can listen to this too.
Hey lady! Govinda Aala (Krishna is here),
Khuda Gawah (God is witness), Ram Bhi Jaane (God Knows it too).
You can hear Karan and Arjun,
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (I feel a funny feel).
But listening to these songs will make you feel amazing.
You've got Salman, Shah Rukh with you. Karan Arjun, DDLJ.
Wow, you're very good at this.
You should be in advertising.
I will make ads too. I just need some customers.
I've shouted so much that my throat hurts like a ****.
Chotu, give me a glass of juice.
Fetch two glasses. Fill one and keep the other empty.
Walkman for you?
I've always had a shot of cutting tea (tiny portion).
This is the first time I've had a shot of cutting juice.
That's the fourth glass since morning.
My brother-in-law runs this shop, not my daddy.
Next glass is on you.
Darn, brother. I've been treating myself to juice for 20 days now.
Did I ever complain?
How much did you earn in 20 days?
What did I earn?
I come daily thinking I'll earn at least Rs. 2,000.
But, for 20 days I've been paying for food,
bus tickets, this juice
and ended up spending Rs. 500.
You know what?
I think, if you want to do business
you have to be lucky.
Not luck, it takes marketing.
Pack it.
Afreen! Are my clothes back from ironing?
I've kept them here.
Why did you spill water? I could have slipped just now.
Saved. See?
The water is too cold nowadays.
[vocalising]
Do work first, then we'll do all this.
Ever since we got back from Farzeen appi's place
you've changed.
I am going to work, okay?
But, listen...
But before I leave for work, a goodbye kiss...
I said no!
Okay!
I will come back after I've sold all the goods in the evening.
Then, I'll do anything I want.
In the evening!
Praveen Bhai! Nice!
-You're a big time trader now. -What trader?
I can't wear tight clothes and travel
by train in the heat, every day.
I'll be sweating bullets of acid in all the wrong places.
Come on, cheer up!
What are you whining about? It's a big day, don't you know?
What is so big about it?
You know what? I know nothing about marketing but
we have our finger on the people's pulse.
The customer buys stuff that is packed well.
Remember that hoarding?
I stayed up all night to print it out.
It sends stuff from the street into imported mode right away.
Arif Bhai, this is so good. It doesn't look like our goods.
It looks like goods from Dubai.
But, there's a problem.
We need a resident of Mumbai 50 (pin code)
to buy goods from Mumbai 03.
Don't worry, Arif Bhai!
We have the Patel Network.
From Germany to Jamnagar, everything will sell.
It's a big day.
-It's a big day! -Let's go!
-You sold it all? -You bet.
What are you saying?
Look at this.
-You got this for me? -No.
I got it for dad. He told me he's dying to wear anklets.
Don't be mean.
-Do you like it? -Nice.
Very nice.
But I told you, when I sell all the goods
I will do anything I want, right?
Do you remember that or not?
I don't know about any of that. Just call Arif.
You better call Arif.
Arif just got back home.
He doesn't know who your relatives are.
I am only being respectful because of you.
Uncle Rauf was about to call the cops.
Just call Arif.
He got out of prison barely four days ago.
He's trying to pull yet another scam.
What? What's this about the cops?
-Nothing. -Who did you sell your goods to?
To customers.
That customer was uncle Rauf!
-Uncle Rauf, who? -Uncle Rauf, who?
Listen to me. Show our wedding album to your family, next time.
He's my uncle Rauf, and you sold him
Chinese goods, disguised as goods from the Middle East.
It's the old man's fault too.
Doesn't he get it, if he's been in the business for so long?
A rookie fooled your uncle!
We have had enough of this.
Appi, stop interfering. Back off.
-It's our mess, we will handle it. -Mess!
Fight, quarrel, brawl, problem.
Makeshift! Listen to your brother speak.
Darn guttersnipe.
-Who are you calling a guttersnipe? -I called you that.
-Arif, no! -Who do you think you are?
-Arif! Listen to me. -Arif.
-Dad, you heard that? -Son.
-Shut up! -Didn't you hear him?
Learn to shut up.
Naem, it's all in the family.
Forgive him this time.
Dad, you don't have to say sorry to him.
Here you are. That's 40,000 rupees you gave me as an advance.
Okay? It may have Rs. 200 less. Here, give me that.
Here's 200 rupees with which I bought anklets for Afreen. Keep it.
I bought Praveen some juice, that was for Rs. 40.
Both of you can have some juice too.
And just chill out, okay?
-Finish this matter. -I won't forget it. Some day
you'll get in trouble, big time. Watch out.
Let's go!
Brother, take it easy.
It's carrom not Naem.
Greetings, uncle.
You're going after that queen
so viciously, don't lose your striker.
See you, Arif.
Meet you tomorrow.
-What are you doing? -Dad, are you my mother-in-law?
Say what you want, clearly.
You're walking on a path
that will land you in prison.
Dad, none of it was deliberate.
This is all I can do.
Listen, son.
The day you learn to praise God almighty
and learn to be grateful to Him
that's when you will be happy to eat
two meagre meals and sleep blissfully.
Dad, I don't want to sleep blissfully
and I don't want two meagre meals.
I want the whole feast.
Afreen wants that too, dad.
I know her very well.
Listen, son. My father
told me about a bird from Yunnan.
He longed to reach the sun.
One day, he was burnt to ashes.
Dad but it's still in the ashes right?
Let me try flying for a bit.
Fly, son.
You can fly as high as you want, but not alone.
Do it with your partner.
Then, you will find life will go by so easily!
Be someone Afreen can be proud of.
Don't be the one she is ashamed about.
Okay, don't do it for me.
Get a job for her.
Listen, don't give her
a life of glittering dreams
rather, give her a real life rooted in the ordinary.
Then, you will see how she gives it all up for you!
Son, I have a friend.
He said, there's a job opportunity with a film producer.
Try it and see.
Sabina, I have a feeling you want to be a heroine actually.
Sawant sir!
Run, cats! The tomcat is in the building. Run!
-Kumar sahab! Tea. -Hey.
Sorry, sir. He's the new guy.
Get rid of him.
Bring someone who won't mess up my day.
Kiddo.
If you poke him, the big dog barks. Get lost.
I got in your way today.
I hope you meet someone who **** your ****.